All alone and far from home - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 61

ness and care rather than criticism. Find reasons for encouragement rather than condemna-
tion. Above all, be patient. Self-respect needs time to build.
Lastly, it would be helpful for you to understand your upbringing and relationship to
your family. For example, why mother or father weren't able to provide love and care. Were
they incapable of love, or were they just restricted by circumstances? Understanding that
can help you to break free from the bondage of anger or resentment and learn how to deal
with it rather than push it aside.
Growing up feeling rejected is one of the most painful experiences anyone can ever
have. However, if people allow themselves to grasp hold of this feeling and stop it from
eating them up inside, they will be spared from life-long torment. The healing process can
be long and exhausting but it is also rewarding.
L ONELY WORKING WOMEN — SINGLE
This is not to say that all single expatriates, male or female, are drifters or lack self-respect.
But many single expatriates, women in particular, do find loneliness to be something harder
to avoid and harder to deal with while living overseas.
“The thought of remaining single for the rest of my life scares the wits out of me!”
Lynn, an advertising executive, has been in Asia for six years. Professionally she has
reached the point where she is content and comfortable. Yet personally she feels un-
fulfilled.
“There seems to be absolutely no chance for me to have a love life here.”
Lynn has started to question whether staying in Asia is causing her to let her career take
precedent over her emotional needs.
“Back home I would have a much easier time,” she explained.
During home leaves or business trips Lynn often meets interesting men and has romantic
flings. Yet because of time constraints and geography, no real long-term relationship is pos-
sible.
Most people in Lynn's situation yearn for a long-term committed relationship. She
dreams of having a family and children. Meanwhile, she settles for short-term affairs. As
far as she is concerned, at least these affairs give her a small dose of the intimacy which is
missing from her life.
She questions whether this is all she can hope for. Thus she has even begun thinking
about abandoning Asia. But should individuals like Lynn return to where they came from,
and would it make any difference?