Graphics Programs Reference
In-Depth Information
sharpening techniques
I had two really good song titles to choose from for
this chapter: “Sharpen Your Teeth” by Ugly Casanova
or “Sharpen Your Sticks” by The Bags. Is it just me, or at
this point in time, have they totally run out of cool band
names? Back when I was a kid (just a few years ago, mind
you), band names made sense. There were The Beatles,
and The Turtles, and The Animals, and The Monkees, and
The Flesh Eating Mutant Zombies, and The Carnivorous
Flesh Eating Vegetarians, and The Bulimic Fresh Salad Bar
Restockers, and names that really made sense. But, “The
Bags?” Unless this is a group whose members are made
up of elderly women from Yonkers, I think it's totally
misnamed. You see, when I was a kid, when a band was
named The Turtles, its members looked and acted like
turtles. That's what made it great (remember their hit
single “Peeking Out of My Shell,” or who could forget
“Slowly Crossing a Busy Highway” or my favorite “I Got Hit
Crossing a Busy Highway”?). But today, you don't have
to look ugly to be in a band named Ugly Casanova, and
I think that's just wrong. It's a classic bait-and-switch.
If I were in a band (and I am), I would name it something
that reflects the real makeup of the group, and how we act.
An ideal name for our band would be The Devastatingly
Handsome Super Hunky Guys With Six-Pack Abs (though
our fans would probably just call us TDHSHGWSPA for
short). I could picture us playing at large 24-hour health
clubs and Gold's Gyms, and other places where beautiful
people (like ourselves) gather to high-five one another on
being beautiful. Then, as we grew in popularity, we'd have
to hire a manager. Before long he would sit us down and
tell us that we're living a lie, and that TDHSHGWSPA is
not really the right name for our band, and he'd propose
something along the lines of Muscle Bound Studs Who
Are Loose With Money or more likely, The Bags.
