FITTING INTO THE FRENCH WAY OF LIFE - CultureShock! A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette: France - page 61

There is a double standard to this. A woman who looks
directly into a stranger's eyes in a public place is making a
request for further intimacy. A man has the 'right' to toss a
look at a woman whom he i nds attractive. French men do
it often. French women expect it. Polly Platt calls this 'the
Look' in her book French or Foe? and every woman who
comes to France quickly becomes aware of it. Take it as a
compliment, but don't return it. Don't even smile as you
instantly look away.
Refusing to make eye contact gives you distance and
control. (This is a favourite trick among French drivers:
ignore the other car and he has to assume you didn't see
him, and give you right of way.) But refusing to make eye
contact with someone you are dealing with directly is an
insult. Establish at least some brief eye contact with people
who are supposed to be helping you. You will get far better
service.
Shaking Hands
The French shake hands with everyone they know, unless
they kiss them, instead ( see The Double Kiss). It's not a strong
handshake, as in the 'gripper' American-style, with a long,
serious moment of eye contact. It's a brief holding of the
hands with an even briefer visual acknowledgement, but it
is essential as a French greeting among colleagues.
Children are taught to shake hands from the time they can
walk. You will soon become accustomed to the handshake,
and soon be able to imitate the lightness of touch and eye
contact required. When you do get into a handshaking
situation yourself, whether at work or in social situations, be
sure not to exclude anyone in the group, even if you don't
know them.
In an ofi ce environment, you will be expected to shake
hands both in the morning and at the end of the day, with
all the other staff.
A Smile
If you are American, this is going to be your single biggest
non-verbal miscommunication when in you are in France.