Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
“Will,” said Jack in a measured tone, “it's Jack, not Jacky and I think your assistant,
Anton, is missing a trick with the advertising blurb. This place is clearly a candidate for
buy one, get one free
.”
Most people take a lifetime to understand Jack's caustic humour. ItsWill was quicker.
“Well, I suppose one could easily rearrange things and reconvert it into a single dwell-
ing.”
“Yes,” Jack replied, “that would be a useful suggestion if it wasn't for the fact that the
only set of stairs are located at the extreme end of the darkest corridor I have ever groped
my way along. It's reminiscent of an old tin mine. Then there are three bedrooms down-
stairs, three upstairs, four bathrooms in total, none of which are ensuite. Plus two salons
and two semi-kitchens. This upstairs 'kitchen',” he said waving his hand at the quarry of
marble, “may, or may not be fully equipped, but I honestly don't care anymore. What it
does
have is a collection of marble sinks that are big enough for my mother to have a swim
in let alone wash a dish in. Good
God
, she'd never find her cutlery again at that depth and,
knowing my Mum, there'd be a real risk of her drowning in the attempt!”
Jack was just about to stalk off but, unfortunately, suffered one of his famous 'and an-
other thing' moments. He wheeled around.
“And
another
thing, Will,” he snapped, “you seem to think it would be a good idea
to sort things out by rebuilding. Perhaps I'm being picky but we want to
buy
a house not
construct one. We're a bit odd like that. You'll perhaps be shocked to hear that it's the same
with our cars. We almost always buy the ones that have been fully assembled and ready to
drive. My preference would be to buy a property that doesn't even have to be immediately
redecorated. But given what we've seen so far I agree that this might prove to be unachiev-
able. What I certainly will not do is spend a small fortune buying a place only to have to
knock it down and start over again.”
Poor old ItsWill. I often feel great sympathy for those who are on the receiving end
of my husband's acerbic tongue. But, once again, he was quite right. I just wished he'd
express himself with a little more grace. ItsWill, however, retained his composure with ad-
mirable restraint.
“Well, yes, I
do
see your point and I'm rather coming to the conclusion that this may
not be the
domaine
for you.”
“That's correct.”
“Yes, of course! Well, it's still nice and early so why don't we have just a quick look
at the outbuildings en route to our vehicles? Then we can go and enjoy a relaxed lunch in a
jolly nice little spot I know nearby.”
Assuming our acceptance of this idea, ItsWill turned on his heel and headed for the
door, muttering something about the need for Anton to modify one or two details in the
property brochure.
