Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Sadly, there was nothing of my preferred 'open plan design' about the lower level.
This became obvious as we trudged down the seemingly endless corridor, opening doors,
each of which led to stuffy little rooms. They were all quite ordinary and fairly acceptable
until we came to the kitchen which was another shocker.
As we walked in our first impressions were that it was actually a grand utility room or
a morgue. 'Grand' because the six worktops and three sinks were made of different types
of marble. And 'utility', because there was no oven, just an assembly of machines used for
cleaning and washing.
At this point ItsWill started thumbing through his documents, furiously searching for
a hint that might reveal an alternative purpose for this extraordinary room but no new evid-
ence emerged. He looked anxiously at our stunned expressions.
“I feel I know what might be in your minds,” he said, “no cooking facilities. But it
wouldn't take a
moment
to install those and I must draw your attention to the marble. It's
simply fabulous, terribly ornate. And
do
look over there. Ah! Wait a moment,” he said, in-
terrupting himself, “I've spotted a fridge. Excellent! So this is
indeed
the kitchen. And now
I can see a rather jolly eating area. Just perfect for a romantic dinner
pour deux
, what?!”
I had to concede that there was a fridge and a tiny table with two chairs, the combin-
ation of which (in the absence of any other likely contenders) qualified as a kitchen. But
the ultra-long worktops (ideal for the laying out of cadavers), together with the huge sinks,
looked more like a pathologist's workplace than a cosy kitchen. This was fast becoming a
fiasco.
“I think I can see what's going on here,” Jack said with a sigh. “It's an offcuts prob-
lem.”
ItsWill and I gave him puzzled looks.
“You say the owner's a builder Will? Obviously he brings home any surplus material
or unwanted features from his construction projects and he dovetails them into this prop-
erty. His poor wife will probably have to cook over an open fire until one of his projects
comes up with a surplus oven.”
Jack and I were now morbidly intrigued as to what was upstairs. This wasn't because
there was any vestige of buying interest left in us, we were just fascinated to discover what
additional shocks might be lurking.
Amazingly, it turned out to be a virtual replica of the ground floor. As we wandered
through the warren we ended up in a very similar looking kitchen-of-sorts. ItsWill turned
to us, clearly thrilled to have found the blasted place.
“
Ahah
!” he cried. “Of course! Here we have the missing apartment. And how interest-
ing to have it contained within the main house. So very handy if one has one's aged parents
to stay,” he said. “You did say you had one or two didn't you, Jacky?” he ended, panting
slightly.
