Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Courtesy
A
ftermyparentsretiredtoDelrayBeach,IbeganmakingpilgrimagestoFloridatovisitwith
them every year for a couple of weeks. I had been living in California for over fifteen years
and had gotten used it. Visiting south Florida brought on culture shock, and I never got used
to it. Every year when it was time to leave behind my relatively pleasant life in California to
descend into the realms of Purgatory, I proceeded with fear and trepidation.
What I found distressing was the lack of simple courtesy as I went about my daily business.
Fromthegrimguyatthetollboothontheinterstatetothesullencashiersatthesupermarkets
to the snippy waitresses wherever we went for our early-bird specials, it was all like a soft-
core version of Night of the Living Dead. People in the service sector rarely greeted you,
rarely thanked you, rarely said goodby. These seem like little things, but their cumulative
effect was to create a different experience of the world. The subtext to these casual daily
encounters, particularly to the dining experiences, was something like the following:
“Do you think I'm doing this because I like it? If I didn't need the money, do you think I'd
be here dealing with you? Let's get it straight: you don't give a damn about me, and I don't
give a damn about you. So, let's get on with it and don't waste my time. Have a nice day,
and don't forget to leave a tip, you cheap son-of-a-bitch.”
My mother never understood why I kept going to Italy when there was already a swimming
pool in her condo complex and the beach was only five minutes away.
The Third Person
Everywhere in Italy that we have traveled, simple courtesy seems to be woven deeply into
the fabric of daily life. When you stop at a bar to grab a coffee or a pack of gum, you are al-
ways greeted with a “Good morning” or “Good afternoon”, you are thanked when you pay,
and you are sent off with an “Arrivederci”. As often as not, the words are accompanied by a
smile or some gesture expressing good will or an extra thank you for having exact change.
And it's always accompanied by the use of the formal mode of address that is reserved for
addressing strangers respectfully.
In Italian it's the third-person-singular that is used to indicate and maintain respectful form-
ality. In English we occasionally hear an echo of this archaic formulation in old movies, like
the comedies where the overdressed salesman asks:
“Would Madame prefer the polka-dot pumps or the patent leather flats?”
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