Death and divorce - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 90

D IVORCE IN A FOREIGN LAND
S OMETIMES ONE PARTNER within a marriage is unhappy or unfulfilled by living overseas.
Often one spouse travels frequently and has little time left over for the family. When prob-
lems like these are left unresolved, divorce can be the tragic result.
The divorce rate among expatriates is generally high. The reasons for divorce are no dif-
ferent than among the population as a whole. However, as pointed out elsewhere, many
problems are aggravated by the expatriate lifestyle.
Divorce can be a complicated matter overseas. In some countries it is simply illegal or
extremely difficult. Others require lengthy waiting periods or periods of official separation
before a divorce can proceed.
Many divorces are preventable. But when the decision to divorce has been mutually
agreed upon, people living overseas must deal with it emotionally as they would in any other
place. Unfortunately, things can be made more difficult for divorcees within a small, gossip-
ridden expatriate community.
F IVE TYPES OF DIVORCE
Divorce is a difficult and painful process for anyone to endure. It is the termination of a fam-
ily unit, inevitably having a great impact on both partners and their children. Divorcees have
to come to grips with the fact that ending a marriage is much more than just “breaking up”.
Every divorce is actually five separations all at once:
EMOTIONAL DIVORCE : Ripping apart what was built up emotionally over the years.
Breaking off an emotional dependence can cause a person to feel extremely insecure and
lonely.
LEGAL DIVORCE : A battleground which many view as the last chance to fight back
and exact revenge. It is also an expensive and draining process.
ECONOMIC DIVORCE : Dividing possessions and assets, as well as altering one's life-
style to reflect the new economic reality.
CO-PARENTAL DIVORCE : A couple will no longer be raising their children together.
This means added responsibilities for the custodial parent, and the threat of alienation from
the children for the non-custodial parent.
SOCIAL DIVORCE : A newly single person is forced into making changes in terms of
identity, status and social groups.
B EREAVEMENT