Daily life dilemmas - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 68

A LIFE LIKE ANY OTHER
T O ANYONE WHO has lived in a foreign country beyond a year, daily life is just that: everyday
life. Certainly most expatriates live privileged lives compared with the surrounding popu-
lation, or compared to how they themselves lived back in their home country. But once the
novelty wears off, once the culture shock is history, most of us settle into our own routines,
each with our daily little triumphs and disappointments.
A lot of the problems faced by expatriates are not much different than those faced by
people anywhere: marital spats, parent-teenager troubles, low self-esteem and so on. As dis-
cussed in previous chapters, many problems people face are aggravated by the expatriate
lifestyle. Some, such as culture shock, are experienced only by people living abroad.
There are some common problems neither made especially worse by the expatriate life-
style nor exclusive to it, but which are so prevalent among expatriate communities, experi-
enced by so many people who live overseas, that they are worthy of mention.
In this chapter we will look at some of these.
W HEN PARTY TIME IS A NIGHTMARE
Entertaining and social functions make up a major portion of many expatriates' social cal-
endars. Whether out of business or social obligation, when it's your family's turn to host a
gathering, the job of organizing usually falls upon the woman of the house.
Within the small, self-contained expatriate community, the reputation stakes are high and
the pressures enormous. But for anyone not used to this sort of responsibility, the results can
be devastating.
“It was the least thing I could do for my husband, but I couldn't even do it right.”
Sue cries uncontrollably. She is in a tense and extremely anxious mood. She complains
of insomnia, depression and thinking obsessively of the party she and her husband hos-
ted a week ago.
Back in California David was a middle-ranking executive with his bank. Sue and he lived
in a comfortable home in the suburbs, but by no means had an ostentatious lifestyle. Eight
months ago, David was transferred to an Asian capital to become the head of the local
branch office. Suddenly, Sue and David found themselves in the elite class, living in an ex-
clusive neighborhood with servants and limousine. Soon David found that business enter-
taining and social functions were part of his job. Being the banker's wife, Sue naturally as-
sumed the role of hostess.