Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Although Sue had some experience in entertaining guests back home, most occasions
were informal or backyard affairs. In this new upper class environment, Sue has become
quite cautious and even a bit anxious whenever she needs to prepare a party. Being a quiet
person by nature, she finds herself needing mental preparation before every occasion. But
the recent annual party for her husband's company was almost too much for her to handle.
Her attempt to lose a few pounds before the party forced her into a battle between her
diet and her agitated mood. She began to worry about not being able to fit into her new
dress, tailored for the party. She also questioned whether her present hairstyle would fit
the special occasion. Gradually, Sue became preoccupied with her physical appearance and
mannerisms. She was overwhelmed with the thought that she would expose her ineptitude
at social small-talk and be unable to impress the guests. For a whole week before the party
she suffered from insomnia, which left her in an even more disheveled and anxious state.
At the party, fatigued and anxious, Sue constantly contrasted her own appearance and
behavior with the wives of her husband's associates. She saw them as confident, experien-
ced and sophisticated. But she felt herself fat, unattractive and unable to hold an intelligent
conversation. She was feeling awkward and tongue-tied and finally couldn't stand facing
the guests. She shut herself in the bathroom, crying. She chastised herself as a failure for
not being able to fulfill her expected role.
One week after the party Sue feels even more depressed and inadequate. Though many
guests sent their thanks and compliments, her own husband neglected to praise her efforts.
Though she knows she shouldn't, she takes this as disapproval. She has become withdrawn
and refuses to discuss her problem with David despite his show of concern.
Sue is suffering a major depressive episode. High expectations of herself and her want-
ing to do it right had put her in a very stressful state. Yet she chose not to turn to David for
support, for worry of burdening him with “her” job.
Meanwhile, she felt herself quite alone. She was afraid to expose her weakness to her
acquaintances because she feared word would get around in her small circle. Anxiety over-
whelmed her, with consequent neurotic behavior. Her distress made her even less prepared
to cope with the burdens of the party arrangements. The more she demanded herself to per-
form, the less capable she found herself. It turned into a vicious cycle. Sue concluded her
performance at the party proved her to be a total failure and a worthless person.
People like Sue suffering a major depressive episode tend to view things in a negative
light. They reproach themselves for minor failings and search the environment for cues
confirming their negative self-evaluation. Loss of energy, insomnia, poor appetite, dimin-
ished ability to think or concentrate and feelings of worthlessness are common symptoms.
In order to deal with such a situation one needs to gain a better understanding of how
mainly trivial incidents can lead to such distress. Someone in Sue's situation needs to be
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