Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
vironment will feel obliged to show greater loyalty to one parent than to the other. Such a
demand is devastating to a child's emotional development. It often will lead to guilt feel-
ings as well as self-punishment.
When planning to have a baby, most people focus on their financial readiness and other
arrangements of child-care. Unfortunately, many would-be parents don't question them-
selves about their own emotional readiness or whether their marriage can endure the change
of adding a new member to the family.
It is vital for any couple, whether they live overseas or not, to ask themselves, “Why?”
before rushing to have children. If the answer is, “to rekindle our marriage,” then this is an
indication that further questioning is necessary.
Mutual support between new parents not only provides a healthy environment for a child
to grow, it will also lead to intimate growth within a marriage. With understanding and
love, children can make a good marriage better. However, if one partner is unhappy, or
if the marriage is troubled to begin with, no “super” child can make a mediocre marriage
flourish.
T
IME
,
CARE
AND
COMMUNICATION
Regardless of the source of their problems, it is essential for any couple to find time to be
together and voice their concerns, but without making personal attacks.
If one spouse's so-called “victory” will cause his or her partner pain, or to lose pride,
trust or self-esteem, the win actually spells loss on both sides. This can result in losing in-
timacy or even the marriage.
Disagreements are unavoidable when people live together. But as long as arguments are
kept in the open, without hiding behind defenses, consensus and agreement are likely to
prevail. The bottom line is, if a couple does care about their marriage it really doesn't mat-
ter how busy they are, what backgrounds they come from, or whether they have family or
business obligations, they will find time to resolve problems.
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