Paying Attention - Alone in Antarctica: The First Woman to Ski Solo Across the Southern Ice - page 36

There were two calls I would make every day: one to Union
Glacier to report my position, and the other to an automated
'phonecast' service. A phonecast is exactly like a podcast
except it is made by calling a number from a phone and
recording a message - like leaving a voicemail. The message
is then automatically uploaded onto the expedition website so
that anyone can instantaneously listen to me describing my
progress. I planned to record a message every day so that those
who wanted to follow my expedition could hear directly from
me about how things were going, but it was an entirely one-
way form of communication.
I dialled the number as I thought about what I wanted to
say. I wasn't sure that I was capable in that moment of being
very eloquent. I was barely able to digest and understand the
thoughts running through my brain, never mind translate them
into words and package them into sentences. Regardless, I
was aware that a lot of people would be eagerly awaiting my
news and so I had to record something, even if it was just the
bare facts of my arrival. Those who were most likely to listen
to the message were friends, family and my parents as well
as sponsors and the media, so I tried to sound as positive as
possible, describing the scene around me and my excitement
to be there. I didn't mention the dreadful sense of alone-ness
or the instinctive terror that made me feel nauseous. It was
easy to sound deliberately upbeat for the few minutes of the
recording but the cheer I could hear in my voice didn't reflect
what I was feeling. After hanging up, the silence crept back in,
like water collecting in rock pools as the tide returns.
I stared in silence at the satellite phone in my lap for a long
time. Theoretically I could have called anybody in the world
from my tent but I realised sadly that no one could help me