Graphics Programs Reference
In-Depth Information
fixing common problems
Of all the chapter names, this one is probably
the most obvious, because what else could this
chapter be about, right? I mean, you wouldn't
name it “Problem Photos” and then have it be
about creating problems with your photos, or
the topic would never sell. Well, the topic might
sell, but this chapter certainly wouldn't help sales.
You know what does help sales? Using the word
“pimp” not just once, but three times (in three
chapter intros). Here's why: Google started this
thing a few years back where they index all
the pages to printed topics, and then add that
information to their search database (deep
inside Cheyenne Mountain), so if what you're
searching for only appears within the pages of a
printed book (rather than a webpage), it would
still appear as a Google search result, and it
would lead you directly to that book. Of course,
you'd have to buy the topic, but as an author,
I can tell you that's not the worst outcome of
a search. Anyway, now when people search for
the word “pimp,” this topic will appear as one
of Google's search results. Of course, people
looking for a pimp will see that this is, in fact, a
Lightroom 3 book, which will probably initially
dissuade them from buying it, but what I'm
hoping is that they'll start to wonder why a
book about Lightroom contains the word “pimp”
at all, and that curiosity will start to eat at them.
They'll be dying to know the mystery that lies
deep within its crumpled pages, so they'll wind
up buying the topic anyway to unearth it's hid-
den pimpy agenda, but then of course, they'll
realize that's not the way I was using the word
“pimp,” and while they'll still be somewhat disap-
pointed, we know from more than a fiftieth of
a century's research that approximately 6.7% of
those people will start learning Lightroom. Hey,
serves the rest right for trying to find a pimp
using Google. They should have tried Craigslist.
