Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
help, to show you the way. If you start by saying “
Excusez-moi
de vous déranger
(sorry to bother you),
mais j'ai un problème
(but I have a problem),” the French will be all ears. You'll
certainly get some information, assistance, the use of their
mobile phone, or whatever it is you need at.
But here's one of the important things to learn: this is where
it ends. Most often Good Samaritans won't give you their
names or invite you for a coffee after your
problème
has been
solved. You will neither learn about their families or be asked
why you are in Paris and what you do. Accepting a younger
person's seat on the bus is not an opening to conversation
about where you are going that day. Acknowledging an apology
for being jostled requires nothing but a nod to say you're
fine and perhaps the standard phrase “
Ce n'est pas grave
(it's
not serious)”. And when you are shopping, expecting the
salesperson to volunteer an opinion on how the dress looks on
you (once the question of the correct size has been resolved)
will leave you disappointed. In short, the French do not intrude
on your privacy and they expect you to respect theirs.
How They Grew Up
Hold The Accusations!
You should never accuse a French person of being wrong—especially
if there's something you need. With such an emphasis on being
correct, the French have difficulty in admitting they are wrong and so
they practically never apologise. This generalisation may be going too
far, but it has a great deal of truth to it. A bureaucrat may—only under
duress—admit to an
erreur
(error), but since errors are innocently
made, this means that there is no fault—and no apology will be
forthcoming. A
faute
(fault) is something even worse to bring up, for
it implies culpability. So, if you are a person who needs to put blame
for something gone amiss, you have come to the wrong place!
It's best to take none of this personally for it's just the way
the French were taught to be. As children, their upbringing
was loving but strict, with expectations for proper behaviour.
Their schooling was rigid and competitive. They were taught
to get things exactly right, to be direct and to the point.
They were taught the value of reason and that they should
always find the rational solution. Even their handwriting was
controlled, and as adults their handwriting is still scrutinised
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