Spiritual love is different from all other forms of love because it does not directly involve relationship with anyone or anything. It is not a personal love, nor is it self love. In seeming contradiction, when experienced, this love can encompass everyone and everything, its source and strength being beyond comprehension, a power that the Sufi poet Jelaluddin Rumi describes succinctly: ‘And don’t look for me in human shape. I am inside your looking. No room for form with love this strong’.
As far as it is possible to say, spiritual love is ‘available’ before an individual experiences it and continues to exist unchanged if the experience ends—its existence is not dependent on the individual. This means that spiritual love exists as a constant regardless of whether the individual experiences it or not. When human individuality (the mind) is quietened (see Silence), the fullness of spiritual love is revealed. This experience is, perhaps, what all women and men who lead spiritual lives ultimately desire and aim towards.
Theists would say that spiritual love is God-given, the Agape that Anders Nygren has described, or the Qalb (mind within the mind) of the Sufis. In a different vein, it is Metta (loving kindness), the first of four Brahma Viharas (highest attributes) in Buddhism (see Buddhism in the West) of which the 14 th Dalai Lama speaks so often. Spiritual love is of the highest importance in many NRMs, particularly A Course of Miracles, Creation Spirituality, ISKCON and Sai Baba’s teachings (see Sai Baba, Sathya). Philosophers, too, have attempted to describe spiritual love from various directions and many—from Plato to Kierkegaard—have concluded its source is beyond human understanding. Psychologists concentrate more on the study of relationships as, in the main, they have been unable to arrive at any conclusions about love (Carl Jung in Memories, Dreams, Reflections saying that he has ‘never been able to explain what it is’ (1971:387)) (see Jung, Carl).
It is not altogether certain whether there are different forms of love or just one which manifests in different ways, the highest or most pure being spiritual love. This is a love which is not dependent on the transience and changeableness of any external influence. Its foundation appears completely unshakeable, no matter what event might occur and it seems to exist without definable limits. These characteristics make spiritual love the strongest form of love and possibly the most rare, at least in its fullest experience.
Spiritual love is at the heart of most spiritualities, whether old or new. Perhaps it is fair to say that it is the most important element in religious and spiritual beliefs—without it most would fail. However, while there is no overall agreement between religions as to what spiritual love might entail, among priests and the like (reported in Rose, 2004) there is some agreement on certain facets. These are that it is unconditional—that is, it cannot be tailored to fit circumstances; it is central to belief; it is in all types of spirituality; it includes all neighbours; and it is more important than law. There is no agreement that particular faiths are all a reflection of one ultimate spiritual love because each group sees itself as distinct from each other.
Words cannot fully describe spiritual love. Understanding it is much more a matter of inner experience and inner knowing than of dogma and ritual—both of which may be enriched by such insight.
