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a sobering shock. Pushing open the little gate to our garden at Bessie's Cottage, I grinned
and waved at Dylan, who was playing with a gushing hose pipe. Judi was sunbathing on a
deck chair. She sat up with a straight and unsmiling face, and I knew I was in for it. “Pre-
pare yourself for a shock, Jonathan,” she said calmly and with no emotion, “I have thought
long and hard about us, and I have decided to move away. I am taking Dylan and will be
moving in with my parents very soon.”
I could hardly believe my ears. I sat down on the nearest rock, staring at her in disbelief,
“Seriously? You want me gone, out of here?” I quavered, my head hurting from the week-
end of boozing.
“As soon as possible. I'm sorry, but we cannot continue this charade any longer. I don't
want you in my life anymore; it has not been working for a long time now, and I want to
move on in my life.”
So there it was. I had to admire her pluck and resolve. She was right. A clean break was
what the situation called for. I had brought a lot of this on myself, and I felt now as low as
a man could feel. The sight of my beautiful, little, blonde haired boy playing in the garden
with our dog, so unaware of what ground-shaking change was taking place right before
him was more that I could handle, and I burst into tears. I was feeling hungover, depressed,
sensitive, and completely disgusted with myself. I sat staring at the ground below me, the
tears running down my face. I just could not believe this, even though I knew it was inev-
itable and overdue.
“You can pack an overnight bag and stay on the boat tonight, and I want you to come in the
morning and take all your things away,” continued Judi, as she swept away with Dylan in
her arms.
The next week or so of my life was easily the worst I have ever experienced, going through
this devastating breakup one can hardly imagine. The reality of my life now closed in on
me, when I was not drinking. My business began falling apart. I had to let my few faithful
staff go. The business and all the stock were eventually auctioned off for an absolute pit-
tance. Gavin was shocked to see how quickly all this happened and kept away from me, as
did a lot of people. My parents expressed their deepest sadness, disappointment, and shock,
as did Judi's family. It was a grim and painful time.
One afternoon not long after the showdown, Judi called me on the phone and said that I
should meet her at a park later that day where I could say goodbye to my son, as they were
leaving for the coast the following day. With my heart in my mouth, I got out of my little
truck, walked over to her car, and took Dylan from her outstretched arms. She wore dark
sunglasses, and I could not read her eyes, though I had the impression she had been crying.
Dylan was unusually quiet and perceptibly sad. I swung him up on top of my shoulders
