Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
I thought deeply about my recent trip and experiences with Susanne. Not only was she
good-looking, but she was kind to animals, witty, and very smart; she had a good business
head and had achieved a lot in her life. I was most fortunate to know her as intimately as I
did. Why was I not thinking of selling up and going back to ask her to be my wife? What
more could I possibly expect from a woman? She answered most items a man could pos-
sibly want and then some.
I felt empty and shallow. Why couldn't I be someone like Susanne: someone smart and
with such a personality, someone that was going places in life instead of drifting about in
a home-made boat. I would sit and stare out at the never-ending sea for hours at a time.
Murphy would sometimes come and sit with me, sensing that I was forlorn. He would sit
quietly and just be there. If I yelled out my anger into the black night he would meow along
with me, and I would laugh out loud at the silly rapscallion, patting him on his cute head.
He made me feel better, and I never really felt too alone with him around.
I still couldn't shake the strange thoughts I had about Susanne. A fine mist of uncertainty
settled down upon me and the boat. Perhaps I was not meant to have a long-term relation-
ship with a woman. I certainly wasn't interested in men, so what was this problem I seemed
to be having with women? Even while Susanne had been here on-board with me, I had
begun to feel unsettled, impatient to move on. I felt myself becoming irritable with being
shackled to someone, even as wonderful as I knew she was. The more I thought about it
the more elusive the answers were. I stopped thinking about women and concentrated on
enjoying my trip back to Lanai.
Being out at sea again had made me think of cruising onwards. I had been living on Lanai
for almost ten months now, and whilst I did love living there, I felt it was time to move on.
I had no obligations or reasons to stay on in Lanai. I had spent almost a year on this lonely
but truly wonderful and spiritual island. I had met and made some wonderful friends, and
now it was perhaps time.
The last Friday night that I shall always recall on Lanai started off in the prim little Lanai
Lodge in the city of Lanai. It was known as the Hunters Lodge, as hunters had come from
all over the islands to hunt the delicious Axis deer which feed off the sweet yellow pine-
apples. I recall walking into the lodge and nodding to a few of the locals that I had met
during my stay. I took an empty table near the window, conscious of several eyes on me. I
am not good in a crowded room when alone. I hide behind a shell, but that night I was not
going to sit on-board Déjà vu alone. The usual Friday night musicians and locals had failed
to materialize at the harbor picnic tables for some reason. Besides, I was in no mood for
trivial acquaintances after spending such quality time recently with Susanne. Something
was missing; I felt empty and restless.
