Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
honksat youasyoudrift intoits path that youare jolted back toreality andyourealize that
henceforth you probably shouldn't leave your seat to search for snack food.
The one thing that can be said is that it leaves you time to think, and to consider questions
like why is it that the trees along highways never grow? Some of them must have been
there for forty years by now, and yet they are still no more than six feet tall and with only
fourteen leaves on them. Is it a particular low-maintenance strain, do you suppose? And
here's another one. Why can't they make cereal boxes with pouring spouts? Is some guy at
General Foods splitting his sides at the thought that every time people pour out a bowl of
cornflakes they spill some of them on the floor? And why is it that when you clean a sink,
no matter how long you let the water run or how much you wipe it with a cloth, there's
alwaysastrandofhairandsomebitsofwetfluffleftbehind?AndjustwhatdotheSpanish
see in flamenco music?
In a forlorn effort to keep from losing my mind, I switched on the radio, but then I re-
membered that American radio is designed for people who have already lost their minds.
The first thing I came across was a commercial for Folgers coffee. An announcer said in
a confidential whisper, “We went to the world—famous Napa Valley Restaurant in Cali-
fornia and-without telling the customers-served them Folgers instant coffee instead of the
restaurant's usual brand. Then we listened in on hidden microphones.” There followed an
assortment of praise for the coffee along the lines of “Hey, this coffee is fantastic!” “I've
nevertastedsuchrich,full-bodiedcoffeebefore!”“ThiscoffeeissogoodIcanhardlystand
it!” and that sort of thing. Then the announcer leaped out and told the diners that it was
Folgers coffee, and they all shared a good laugh-and an important lesson about the bene-
fits of drinking quality instant coffee. I twirled the dial. A voice said, “We'll return to our
discussion ofmaleness insixty seconds.” Itwirled the dial. The warbling voice ofafemale
country singer intoned,
His hands are tiny and his legs are short But I lean upon him For my child support.
I twirled the dial. A voice said, “This portion of the news is brought to you by the Airport
BarberShop,Biloxi.”Therewasthenacommercial forsaidbarbershop,followedbythirty
sec onds of news, all of it related to deaths by cars, fires and gunfire in Biloxi in the last
twenty-four hours. There was no hint that there might be a wider, yet more violent world
beyond the city limits. Then there was another commercial for the Airport Barber Shop, in
case you were so monumentally cretinous that you had forgotten about it during the pre-
ceding thirty seconds of news. I switched the radio off.
