Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
there!” and make everybody in the room stop talking while I pointed out things I had seen.
In the event, Dole dropped out of the race two days later, primarily because nobody could
stand him, apart from his family and some other people around Russell, and the town, alas,
lost its chance at fame.
I awoke to a more promising day. The sun was bright and the air was clear. Bugs exploded
colorfully against the windshield, a sure sign of spring in the Midwest. In the sunshine
Kansas seemed an altogether more agreeable place, which surprised me a little. I had al-
ways thought one of the worst things anyone could say to you was, “We're transferring
you to Kansas, son.” Kansas calls itself “the Wheat State.” That kind of says it all, don't
you think? It really makes you want to cancel that Barbados trip, doesn't it? But in fact
Kansas was okay. The towns I went through all looked trim and prosperous and quintes-
sentially American. But then Kansas is the most quintessential of American states. It is,
after all, where Superman and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz grew up, and all the towns
I went through had a cozy, leafy, timeless air to them. They looked like the sort of places
where you could still have your groceries delivered by a boy on a bike and people would
stillsaythingslike“bygolly”and“geewhillikers.”AtGreatBend,Istoppedonthesquare
beside the Barton County Courthouse and had a look around. It was like passing through
a time warp. The place appeared not to have changed a fraction since 1965. The Crest
Movie Theater was still in business. Nearby stood the Great Bend Daily Tribune and the
Brass Buckle Clothing Store, with a big sign on it that said, FOR GUYS AND GALS. Gee
whillikers. A man and his wife passed me on the sidewalk and said good morning like old
friends. The man even tipped his hat. From a passing car came the sound of the Everly
Brothers. This was almost too eerie. I half expected Rod Serling to step out from behind
a tree and say, “Bill Bryson doesn't know it, but he's just driven into a community that
doesn't exist in time or space. He's just embarked on a one-way trip into . . . The Twilight
Zone.”
IhadalookinthewindowoftheFamilyPharmacyandGiftShop,whichhadaninteresting
and unusual display that included a wheelchair, a packet of disposable absorbent under-
pants (it isn't often you find a store catering to the incontinent impulse shopper), teddy
bears, coffee mugs bearing wholesome sentiments like “World's Best Grandma,” Mother's
Day cards and a variety of porcelain animals. In one corner of the window was a poster
for a concert by-you are never going to believe this-Paul Revere and the Raiders. Can you
beat that? There they were, still dressed up like Continental soldiers, prancing about and
grinning, just like when I was in junior high school. Goodness me, what assholes. They
would be performing at the Civic Auditorium in Dodge City in two weeks. Tickets started
at $10.75,This was all becoming toomuch forme. Iwas glad toget inthe car anddrive on
to Dodge City, which at least is intentionally unreal.
