Style Specifics - Writing for Computer Science - page 101

The performance gains are the result of tuning the low-level code used
for data access and improved interface design.
The performance gains are the result of tuning the low-level code used
for data access and of improved interface design.
This can be further improved. It is kinder to the reader to move the longer clauses in
a list to the end.
The performance gains are the result of improved interface design and
of tuning the low-level code used for data access.
There are some standard forms of parallel. The phrase “on the one hand” should
have a matching “on the other hand”. A sentence beginning “One …” suggests that
a sentence beginning “Another …” is imminent. If you flag a point with “First” then
every following point should have a similar flag, such as “Second”, “Next”, or “Last”.
Parallel structures should be used in lists.
For real-time response there should be sufficient memory, parallel disk
arrays should be used, and fast processors.
The syntax can be fixed by adding “should be used” at the end but the result is clumsy.
A complete revision is preferable.
Real-time response requires sufficient memory, parallel disk arrays, and
fast processors.
Note the use in this example of the serial comma, as discussed further in Chap. 8 .
Comparisons and relative statements should be complete. If “the Entity-Relation-
shipmodel is a better method for developing schema”, then it is better than something
else. Say what that something is.
Emphasis
The structure of a sentence places implicit emphasis, or stress, on some words.
Reorganization of a sentence can change the emphasis.
A static model is appropriate because each item is written once and read often.
It is not clear what makes the model's behaviour appropriate; the emphasis should
be on the last two words, not the last five.
A static model is appropriate because each item is only written once but
is read often.
Inappropriate stress can lead to ambiguity.