Graphics Programs Reference
In-Depth Information
Little Problems
The title for this chapter comes from the 2009 movie
Little Problems
(written and directed by Matt Pearson), but
I could have just as easily gone with the 2008 short
Little
Problems
(written and directed by Michael Lewen), but there
was one big thing that made the choice easy. The first movie
was about zombies. You just can't make a bad movie about
zombies. It's a lock. Throw a couple of hapless teens (or in
this case “an unlikely couple”) into some desolate location
with a couple hundred flesh-starved undead, and you've got
gold, baby, gold! Now, has anyone ever wondered, even for
a second, why every zombie in the rich and colorful history
of zombies has an insatiable hunger for human flesh and
only human flesh? Why can't there be zombies that have an
insatiable hunger for broccoli? Then, in their bombed-out
shell of a desolate vacant city, on every corner there would
be other zombies selling broccoli the size of azalea bushes.
Anyway, it's just a little too coincidental that every zombie
wants to eat you, but they don't want to eat something that
might actually keep them alive, and is in ample and easily
reproducible supply, like broccoli, or spring rolls, or chowder.
Nope, it has to be human flesh, even though you know and
I know (say it with me) it tastes like chicken (well, that's what
I've been told, anyway). Another thing that drew me to the
first
Little Problems
was the director's last name, seeing as all
my topics are published by subsidiaries of Pearson Education,
a company who somehow chose to hire Ted Waitt as my
editor, despite the fact that they were forewarned by the
DCBGC (the Desolate City Broccoli Growers' Consortium)
that Ted might not actually be the strict vegetarian he
claimed to be in his resume. I probably shouldn't say
anything bad about Ted, though. I don't want to bite the
hand that feeds me.
