Graphics Programs Reference
In-Depth Information
Mini Series
If you're reading this chapter opener (and you are, by the
way), it's safe to assume that you already read the warning
about these openers in the introduction to the topic (by the
way, nobody reads that, so if you did, you get 500 bonus
points, and a chance to play later in our lightning round).
Anyway, if you read that and you're here now, you must be
okay with reading these, knowing full well in advance that
these have little instructional (or literary) value of any kind.
Now, once you turn the page, I turn all serious on you, and
the fun and games are over, and it's just you and me, and
most of the time I'll be screaming at you (stuff like, “No,
no—that's too much sharpening you goober!” and “Are
you kidding me? You call that a Curves adjustment?” and
“Who spilled my mocha Frappuccino?” and stuff like that),
so although we're all friendly now, that all ends when you
turn the page, because then we're down to business.
That's why, if you're a meany Mr. Frumpypants type who
feels that joking has no place in a serious topic of learning
like this, then you can: (a) turn the page and get to the
discipline and order you crave, or (b) if you're not sure,
you can take this quick quiz that will help you determine
the early warning signs of someone who should skip all
the rest of the chapter openers and focus on the “real”
learning (and yelling). Question #1: When was the last
time you used the word “poopy” in a sentence when not
directly addressing or referring to a toddler? Was it:
(a) During a morning HR meeting? (b) During a legal
deposition? (c) During your wedding vows? Or, (d) you
haven't said that word in a meaningful way since you
were three. If you even attempted to answer this question,
you're clear to read the rest of the chapter openers.
Oh, by the way: pee pee. (Hee hee!)
