Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
a demented butterfly catcher, constantly tutting and swearing at the insects for their stupidity
and impertinence.
'Why don't you come in, Daddy?' Maurice would ask.
'I'll just get this last fly,' I'd answer, but there'll always be another one.
Also, it's bloody freezing. Electricity is four times more expensive in France than in the
UK, largely due to the fact that the one state monopoly supplier, Electricité de France, would
rather pay the EU fines than open up the market competitively (see what I mean about
'Europe'?), which means that I'm far too tight to put the heater on. Ironically, Electricité de
France own a fair amount of the UK electricity franchises, where they charge a great deal
less! Maurice decided to brave the temperatures, and to herald the start of summer rather
boldly took a flying leap into the crystal, temporarily bug-free waters. He practically bounced
straight back out again as he realised that, although the thermometer read 22 degrees, that
was actually only the surface temperature and bore little relation to the temperature further
below. He was still shivering a couple of hours later.
The flies were everywhere too. I tried, sometimes overzealously, to keep the doors and win-
dows shut but the little sods still got in. When I wasn't batting them away from the pool I was
indoors with a fly swat in each hand like some Jedi fly catcher, manically bounding about
the house going 'There's one!' and bringing the swat down, usually a fraction too late. I asked
Natalie, as I was angrily attacking the flies in the lounge, whether if we got rid of the horses
we would have fewer flies and she didn't even bother to answer.
It was
monstres
week again, so as well as the flies there was the possibility of us gaining
even more old furniture and random knick-knacks. Once again Natalie had insisted on driving
me around the streets of local villages picking up other people's bits of discarded furniture
and general household flim-flammery. However, in thanks for forcing me to endure yet an-
other
monstres
run Natalie bought me a present: a magnificent battery-operated fly swat.
Shaped like a tennis racket, it has a wide head housing a metal grid which stuns the fly like
a taser. It is a splendid instrument and meant that I could swat flies with an overhead smash
or a stinging backhand down the line. It was more fun than the Wii and actually meant that I
was getting some physical exercise into the bargain which, seeing as I was unlikely to be able
to get into the pool because of bugs, was about the only exercise I was likely to get - that and
laying traps for fruit thieves.
