Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
This is something you can suggest to your French
acquaintances. Never ask to visit someone's home if you
haven't already been invited. If you need to stop by for some
reason, telephone i rst.
Accidents Will Happen
If you should have an accident in your host's home, say you spill
something on a rug, or break a glass, you will be immediately
forgiven. No matter how serious the damage, your host will toss
off the loss as nothing worth considering. This is good manners in
France. Friends are always more valuable than things.
Hosts accept responsibility for guests as they would for their
children. (Another reason, perhaps, why French people are slow
to invite people to their homes!) Offer to replace or repair the
damage, of course, but don't insist. You will probably be told that
the Baccarat crystal goblet was 'really worthless'.
If you do break a valuable object, you might consider sending
a nice gift, later, just to express your appreciation for your
friends' generosity.
If you are not invited to a French person's home, don't
feel offended. A century ago, Henry James complained that
though he had been invited to the salons of Flaubert, and
regularly met Zola, Maupassant and the other luminaries
of the day (he also being well-known by then) they
always treated him as if he were a total stranger, as if he
weren't there.
He complained to his family, as he i nally left Paris to
live in London, “It is rather ignoble to stay simply for the
restaurants,” implying that he was never asked to French
homes. But Henry James also said very positive things about
his Paris life:
“You know, you get all ready to hate the French—it
happens all the time when you live in Paris—then they'll
turn around and say something or joke about themselves,
and you like them all over again.” Henry James had some
cultural misunderstandings about the French he never sorted
out. But you can.
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