Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Laying Blame
While criticism is freely
given in France, when it is
needed, finding fault with
someone is another matter.
You do something wrong out of
ignorance, you are corrected,
like a child. Blaming someone
for something already done,
like a traffi c accident, is taboo.
Never mind who was at fault.
The important topic should be
how to resolve the situation.
Barlow and Benoît-Nadeau
explain in their book:
'The term faute (fault) is very
grave in the French mindset.
'Worse than a crime, it's a
blunder!' were the famous
words of diplomat Charles
de Talleyrand (1754-1838).
This thinking is one reason
the French are loathe to
admit being at fault for even
the smallest mistakes, even
in private.'
their families and live at home,
but each is allowed a remarkable
degree of independence,
compared to many cultures.
Parents and other adults
will still correct and criticise
these teenagers, but they are
generally allowed to go about
their business. The 'control' at
this point becomes the family
bond. The child's conduct always
reflects back on the parents
and the child is aware of this
responsibility throughout his life.
Teenagers are encouraged to
participate in family discussions,
to reason and to think for
themselves. High school students
are even allowed to smoke in
France, and will go out with their
teachers to a café.
Parents will continue to participate in their children's lives,
of course, intervening on behalf of their children throughout
the school years to university level and helping with that i rst
break in the job world, but these children are not 'babied'.
Because of this respect for their independence, children
who are not married often continue to live happily at home.
“The French support their children until they are stepping
on their beards,” says one British friend who has lived in
France most of his life.
When children marry, the parents will often help them
out with housing, furniture and other expenses. After this,
the cycle of care and belonging starts again when the young
parents start their 'civilising' job with their own children.
Childless marriages are rarely a goal.
Being a Couple
Though a young couple remains in the 'adolescent' stage
until their i rst child is born, the relationship itself separates
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