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through that polite barrier of silence with strangers, the
French have perfected the
engueulade
, or argument.
A negative comment serves to get the conversation
started, to force the other fellow to get involved. There are
several reasons this is often acceptable behaviour. First,
any recognition of a stranger is bringing him into a circle of
privacy. The mere fact the person is taking off his public mask
of indifference to get into conversation establishes a form of
intimacy. Criticism is popular in France because it allows the
other person to then give his point of view without appearing
too intimate. Criticising is not the same as insulting.
There may well be a parent/child relationship at work here.
He is thereby taking responsibility for you, as a person. In this
case, discussion is not expected on your part, but attentiveness.
Show you are
bien élevé
(well-raised). Accept the criticism and
thank the speaker for his generous display of concern.
The French do not usually like to appear at fault.
They don't mind being mistaken, being educated and
becoming better informed. But never lay the blame for a
situation upon someone else. Instead, seek solutions to the
problem together.
Enjoy the
engueulade
!
IN FRANCE TRY TO SPEAK FRENCH
You miss a great deal, not speaking some French in France.
Criticism is a way of getting to the heart of the matter here, and
nothing of signii cance happens without lengthy discussion
and deliberation. Speaking the language, even at a minimal
level, will be enormously helpful to you in gaining respect.
Muster up your linguistic courage and plunge in. Your
bad grammar and poor vocabulary will be forgiven more
easily than the smile of the deaf/mute. Paris entertains more
ingenue, ill-prepared travellers than any other city on earth
and it is a tribute to the true humanitarian spirit of Parisians
that so many confused, dumb, rude, loud and lost souls
are accommodated. The least you can do is try to speak
their language.
You will not be expected, as a mere foreigner, to speak
French well, but you will be encouraged, from the i rst word,
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