A Ship in the Wind - Fat Dogs and French Estates - page 88

Our final room to view was the master bedroom (further copies of books on divorce
stacked up in here) which was large, airy and had lovely French windows leading to a big
balcony. I was about to pop out when a voice from the doorway thundered, “ Arrêtez! ”
I recoiled in embarrassment, wondering what on earth the problem was, when James
bounded in to explain.
“I'm afraid monsieur tells me that it can be a touch breezy here. If you open the door
the wind could blow a little strongly against you and it might be a bit tricky for you to reach
the balcony rail. So, on the whole, he really doesn't advise it. But it's a lovely view isn't
it?” he added encouragingly.
“Right, that's it. It's no good. We're off,” Jack whispered brusquely and with that he
nodded curtly at James and monsieur and strode off to collect the dogs.
Our parting was abrupt and more so than I had anticipated. When we returned to the
vegetable patch we found Sam asleep, but Biff still very busy. He had now widened the
rabbit burrow to such an extent that only his wagging bottom was visible. I thought he
had done a damn good job, but this emotion was not shared by poor monsieur who looked
aghast.
“ Mon dieu! Regardez le trou - mes légumes! Merde! ” he cried. (My God! Look at the
hole - my vegetables! Shit!)
There really wasn't any need for this outburst. The 'Biff' hole wasn't that huge and
anyway there definitely wasn't a single vegetable in sight. However we decided that this
was probably a convenient cue to leave. Uttering our thanks, apologies (dog and rabbit
debris), admiration (undersea adventure) and condolences (most recent divorce proceed-
ings), we dashed off to the car. But monsieur hailed us just before we got in.
“I am forgetting the stables and horses,” he exclaimed. “You must see them!”
“Oh yes, we absolutely must,” said Jack. “My wife loves horses.”
This was true. Equally true was the fact that, after caravans and cling film, Jack detests
horses. So why had he said that?
“But,” he continued, “we mustn't make the horses nervous, so we'll look in quietly
on our way back to the main entrance. James knows where they are and he can show us.
Thank you so much for your time monsieur and we wish you the very best of luck in your
divorce proceedings.”
This remarkable display of bonhomie must have been exhausting for Jack. Monsieur ,
on the other hand, was clearly suffering from conflicting emotions. He was apparently
cheered by the well-wishing and sympathetic precautions to avoid a possible stampede. But
he was also saddened by the thought of not being able to deliver a full history of his thor-
oughbreds. However, he reluctantly acknowledged Jack's proposal and wished us a safe
journey.
On the way out, we dutifully spent a good 30 seconds glancing at the stables and his
horses and then escaped to the sanctity of the autoroute and service station for lunch.