Briefed by a Lawyer - Fat Dogs and French Estates - page 80

munities do cherish their traditions and as we later learned, jump at the chance of having a
jolly good uprising.
However, there is no doubt that they are relatively costly and the critics are convinced
that they create a completely unnecessary extra layer of bureaucracy. Mairies also exhibit
that additional inveterate French habit of churning out endless forms and documents which
are generally ignored by the nationals and much worried about by the British immigrants.
So the system is disputably crying out for change.
There is, however, an upside to this very local governmental system. Mairies are in-
tensely proud of their patches and micro-cultures, which are manifested in a number of
ways. For example, most of the villages are squeaky clean, often beautifully decorated with
floral arrangements and assorted obelisks, which are nurtured, buffed-up and constantly
tweaked. The favourable result of this regular activity is well-kept buildings and almost no
litter. They are a joy to live in, visit or drive through and very often the cause of the vil-
lage's entry into one of the fiercely contested 'beautiful villages of France' competitions.
Mairies also run local fêtes . These usually begin in early Spring and run up to Christ-
mas. Their primary purpose is to celebrate a local custom, activity or culture. Their second-
ary purpose appears to be the opportunity for participants to eat and drink as much as they
possibly can whilst remaining upright. Additionally, they may dress up in strange costumes
that reflect the history of the locality.
Fêtes (often organised in collaboration with even more groups established to manage
the task) present another excellent reason for retaining this possibly antiquated system.
They are a traditional example of community pride, inclusive of all age groups and as we
now know, they're great fun.
So, with that information in mind, it's not surprising to learn that in a town or village
with a Mairie, it's usually one of the most impressive buildings in the area. The Mairie in
Montréal was no exception. We hadn't visited this town before so our approach was cau-
tious, especially because SatNav lady did her level best to create an amusing diversion via
a local chemin en route.
“Just switch that bloody machine off. Which dim bint's voice are they using anyway?
Some idiot!” snapped Jack, executing yet another fruitless U-turn.
As we drew into the car park, a white Ford Galaxy people carrier was already waiting.
Here was James. He was a reliable-looking sort of chap who was extremely large in every
department, so his choice of vehicle was eminently sensible. He walked over to us with a
broad smile.
“Hello, my friends call me Jimmy,” he said, introducing himself.
Jack immediately took on that oh no, not another one! look. I gave him a warning
glance and walked towards our host who looked pleasant and amiable. We were bound to
get on very well. The affable Jimmy produced a natty little brief case.