Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
open oyster shell) into a pool below. Then, either side, two impish looking fellows fought
to control the equine creatures attached to a probable chariot.
The circumference was sufficient to launch and sail a small dinghy and would cer-
tainly have been an impressive sight in a national trust property. But slap-bang in front of
an old farm house? No. Incongruous, inappropriate and entirely unsuitable? Oh yes.
I shifted my fascinated gaze away from this first surprise to the walls of the farmhouse.
I just couldn't believe what I was looking at. They had been rendered using smooth,
bulbous river-type stones which would have been fine, if a little quirky, were it not for
the fact that each one was verging on boulder-sized. It was a genuinely extraordinary sight
and I would not have been at all surprised to see a fairy-tale giant striding out, cudgel in
hand, en route to commence his morning ablutions in the fountain. Just as peculiar were
two identical front doors with door knockers the size of cannon balls that would have been
almost impossible to lift.
“Bloody hell!” was all Jack could say with a shuddered intake of breath, his expression
too awful to describe.
At that moment I feared that this might be the final straw and could prematurely end
our grand adventure. ItsWill had been examining our expressions with great interest and
performed a timely dramatic clearance of his throat. This effectively dragged our attentions
away from the
Disneyland
out-take scene. He realised that we were not appreciating the
intended 'wow-factor' first-impressions.
“Well, here we are,” he said. “I believe the owner is a builder who specialises in renov-
ating
châteaux
. Absolutely
magnificent
fountain isn't it? Although, I do see why one might
feel it is a touch, well possibly, oh, I don't know, but one
might
feel it is a touch incongru-
ous in this setting? And possibly a little large?”
“Well, it's certainly huge, Will,” added Jack helpfully. Then unhelpfully, “Perhaps we
could take a vote on 'magnificent'.”
“Yes, yes, I do rather agree but of course that needn't be a problem at all. I can soon
have the owner move it to a more appropriate position. But isn't this
fun
?” he said earn-
estly.
I was still dumbstruck. Suddenly feeling totally disconsolate, I turned to Jack.
“Oh darling,” I said, “I really had high hopes for this one, I just hope it's not another
disaster.”
“Come on, that's not like you,” he replied with a little squeeze of my arm. “Actually,
Will's quite right, we could easily have that monstrosity,” pointing at the water-horror, “re-
moved and use the stone to re-render the
boulderdash
ha! ha! So don't worry about that.
Come on, let's crack on. You can imagine how eager I am to listen to your mate all day!”
He gave me a big kiss on the cheek and went off to help ItsWill who was now flapping
around in the background trying to work out which key would open the front doors.
