Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
“Huh,” I replied defensively, “as usual I'm the only one in this car who has any form
of romantic flair at all when it comes to describing things, but never mind. Here we go
then.”
I obediently returned to the blurb words and continued in an appropriately prosaic
manner. The principal property was nestled in the centre of its land. This comprised 120
hectares (nearly 300 acres) of gently undulating pasture and woodland. The main building
was a renovated farmhouse with an independent apartment.
“And,” I quoted, “it has several outbuildings. Now, what could be better than that?
Honestly darling, this one's a real winner, I can't wait to see it.”
“It'd better be,” Jack said meaningfully. “If it's as marvellous as you say it is, I'll need
a gun room of course,” he added, with the merest whiff of interest in his voice.
“Yes, yes darling. I definitely endorse that because I'm
not
going to have another
bedroom with firearms security cabinets plastered all over the walls in place of pictures.
Anyhow, by the sound of things you'll have lots of choice.”
I was feeling mightily pleased with the way things were going.
“Oh and look!” I added, really getting keen now, “it has a plantation of 2,300 olive
trees. How
fabulously
Provençale!”
“I'm not at all keen on olives but that's a minor point. We're supposed to be retiring
darling, not toiling each day to increase the size of the European olive oil lake.”
“Oh come on, they're an incredibly healthy fruit. Great for the heart and digestion.”
“Yes, I'm sure they are. And I'm also sure they'll be widely available at all local
stores, at very reasonable prices.”
I ignored Jack's inability to recognise the culinary importance of this regional treasure
and carried on regardless.
“And
finally
,” I said with great aplomb, “it has no swimming pool!”
“Now you've said something sensible. Good. Right, well, let's not get too carried
away. We already know to our cost how absurdly inaccurate the information provided by
most idiot estate agents can be and this lot is unlikely to buck the downward trend. Mind
you, it does sound promising doesn't it?”
We finally arrived at the
domaine
entrance, which was an extremely unimposing rick-
ety old gate with
Le Petalon
scratched on a tiny sign. ItsWill had already told us that the
owners were away and that he would show us around in their absence. Based on our previ-
ous experiences this seemed an excellent idea, with the only potential hitch being that the
estate was also new to ItsWill. He assured us that this wouldn't be a problem because the
guardian was in residence to help out with any questions.
Having successfully negotiated the wobbly gate without breaking it, ItsWill drove
ahead along an extremely dusty rough track which we presumed was the drive to the house.
After quite some distance he pulled up, got out of his car and walked over to us.
“Oh no!” I gasped as he approached.
