Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
and several minor-league foxes. At ground level the only other noteworthy prizes were an
elephant-foot waste basket (which I felt certain must be illegal) and the obligatory grizzly
bearskin rug, a souvenir from America, complete with half a head which acted as a booby-
trap.
Signore finally exhausted his big game extravaganza and ushered us towards the kit-
chen area. This chap was wonderfully dramatic and evidently loved his toys as much as his
trophies. He visibly swelled to bullfrog proportions.
“Theze it eez my kitchen,” he announced with a grand sweep of his chubby little arms.
“It eez where I spend my time cooking for my friendz. I ave many friendz ere now. But not
ata zee begeening. At firsta it wasa difficult fora me because the French they remember too
mucha the war anda how Italians beata them anda occupy their country.”
I could see Jack and Charles glancing at each other looking extremely puzzled by this
novel representation of Italian military prowess. I just hoped that Jack wouldn't feel the
need to put him right. Luckily he was too slow and signore was off again.
“But nowa it isa okay for me because my neighbours they know I hatea the violence
anda the killing.'
I glanced back at the animal heads. Now it was my turn to look puzzled.
But, that all aside, here was something I could finally admire. As mentioned before, I
do like a big open-plan kitchen (and this was a fine example) although it was constructed
on a rather industrial scale.
There was an eight-ring hob, with granite worktops either side, arranged in a semi-cir-
cular form, which I'd swear was designed for about six sous-chefs in addition to signore .
Behind this was a spectacular console of double ovens (I quickly counted four, but there
may have been more) bordered by row upon row of utensils. Whilst they provided light
relief from the trophy animal heads, I was equally impressed and a bit daunted by the scale
of the catering operation that must go on here.
A rustic dining table was adjacent which could comfortably seat twenty people. One
other intriguing point was the unit heights. They were all extremely low and must have
been tailored to signore's needs. I didn't think this was a major problem though because
any unpleasant attacks of lumbago could easily be avoided by the imaginative use of low-
rise footwear like slippers or, better still, nothing at all.
Having invested all of two minutes looking at the business end of the house, Jack
sensed my keen interest.
“Don't even think that this would give you carte blanche to invite everyone you know
to the house for dinner,” he murmured. “We're not opening a restaurant. Now let's get on
with it please, we're running out of time.”
His aside didn't deserve a response, but he was right about timing. The tricky thing
was that signore was still fully immersed with himself and his kitchen and still pointing
out interesting cookery items. It would be too rude to stop him. Fortunately Charles was
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