Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
“Well
obviously
you can't cram many people in this section, so it's a great way of cut-
ting down on the visitor numbers.”
“Typical! If you think we're going to buy a pride of stuffed lions and litter them about
the house just as anti-human 'space-fillers', you've got another think coming. The poor an-
imal, what a terrible waste.”
Charles, who hadn't quite got the hang of Jack's humour, chipped in.
“Absolutely magnificent beast, though, and quite a talking-point, I imagine. Very
much in keeping with the hunting lodge theme wouldn't you say?”
“Yes, presumably Allan Quartermain lives nearby.”
Jack's reference to King Solomon's Mines and 'great white hunters' now completely
baffled Charles, so I filled the void.
“Oh yes, definitely in keeping, Charles.”
The three of us were so engrossed by the enormous size of this shaggy centrepiece that
we hadn't taken much notice of our host's apparent disappearance. Then a shrill voice from
somewhere close by piped up.
“Theesza lioness I shot tena yearz ago. She eez very
magnifica
yes?”
I scanned the room, searching for the source of the comments when suddenly I noticed
the top of a head and a pair of eyebrows dancing up and down.
Signore
hadn't left the
room. He'd walked behind the lioness so we could get a closer look and was now virtually
obscured by its bulk.
This, I suppose, wasn't surprising because our host was quite tiny but the animal was
also extremely tall. All lionesses are probably of a similar size, but somehow I hadn't pre-
viously considered their dimensions.
Anyway, now that we'd located him, it was clear that we were required to issue various
congratulatory comments (especially after our earlier
faux pas
) and simply staring goggle-
eyed at the scene wasn't getting us anywhere. I couldn't think of anything appropriate, so I
jabbed Jack in the ribs firmly enough that he winced.
“Oouf! Er … truly splendid. What did you shoot it with?”
This was all that was needed.
Signore
popped his head round the hindquarters of the
animal.
“A
rifle
,” he said with a great big smile.
Jack, who had been expecting to hear a technically interesting reply along the lines of
a Blaser R93 bolt action, or a 300 Winchester Magnum or something similar, thankfully,
just looked resigned.
Signore
spent the next half hour treating us to a tour of the trophy heads of other
nearly-extinct species, which was excitedly supplied (in great detail) with the year, date,
precise location and fellow hunter names for each. But not the weapons used. The animals
broadly comprised an alarming number of antelopes with variously shaped horns, one
wildebeest (which threatened to cause structural damage to the building at any moment)
