Christmas at the Uptown - The Coconut Chronicles: Two Guys, One Caribbean Dream House - page 66

Sometimes we wondered what we had dreamed about before the island came along. We
wondered how we had imagined ourselves in old age-because now we had a very clear im-
age of ourselves in our twilight years.
Michael: puttering around in the garden, mumbling to himself, weed-whacking
everything in sight.
Me: sitting on the balcony clutching a martini in my gnarled hand, gazing wistfully out
to sea.
And although I have no illusions about old age, I can't wait to spend more time in
Vieques.
☼ ☼ ☼
For Christmas that year we made a solemn pledge to give each other thoroughly practical
presents—in other words, things we needed for the house in Vieques—and nothing more.
Needless to say, we both caved in at the last minute and exchanged spectacularly pointless
stocking-stuffers.
Once we had exclaimed politely over our respective stashes on Christmas morning, and
eaten a delicious lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant in Cleveland Park, we migrated
over to the Uptown Theater on Connecticut Avenue for a mid-afternoon matinee.
It was a bleak, frigid day, but the ladies in front of us were in rare form. We couldn't
help wondering if perhaps they'd fortified themselves against the elements with a pitcher
or two of Bloody Marys.
It seemed they were about to embark on a New Year's break in Anguilla, where their
oldest, dearest friend owned a house.
“I can't believe that cow didn't offer us a discount!” one wailed.
“And we've known her since grade school,” said another.
“Typical,” a third grumbled.
I couldn't help adding my two cents.
“She's probably just trying to cover her expenses.”
Three aghast faces turned to me in unison.
“Excuse me?” the ring leader barked.
“Um,” I gulped, as Michael edged slowly away from me, “we just bought a house in
Puerto Rico, and we're thinking of renting it out someday.”
They continued to stare.
“There are a lot of hidden costs when you own a second home,” I yammered on.
“Maybe your friend has a rule about saving money by not offering discounts to anyone ex-
cept relatives.”
They burst into merry laughter.
“Honey, you've got her all wrong. She's rich as cream,” one of them said. “Just cheap.”