Travel Reference
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Three blurry photos of the bathroom showed up in my inbox the next day. To be honest,
the tile work didn't look all that great. Yes, the tiles were square and gorgeously white, but
their placement didn't look particularly even and a couple of edges appeared to be chipped.
Uh oh.
“It'll look better when it's grouted,” Michael said, which made me feel better until I
remembered he'd used more or less the same words to comfort me about a broad array of
past disasters, including (but not limited to) my Aunt Claudia's latest cosmetic procedure.
I called Jane.
“Could you stop by and make sure Freddy's work is up to speed?”
“Sure, but what if it's not? I didn't hire him, you know, so I don't have much leverage
on this particular job.”
As much as I loved the old girl, she could be a bit of a trial sometimes.
“Just take a look. You know how much I trust your judgment.”
Sheer, unadulterated flattery usually worked with Jane, and sure enough it appeared to
do the trick this time. She called back later that evening with a full report.
“Well, it's not a complete disaster,” she began.
I sat down.
“On the other hand,” she went on, “I've seen better tile work.” She paused. “In public
bathrooms. In third world countries.”
Gulp.
“Is it fixable?”
She hesitated.
“Of course…but it's going to cost you some extra dollars.”
How often had we heard some variation on this same statement over the past few years?
And yet, as always, we just wanted the nightmare to be over.
“I don't care,” I said. “Make it work!”
A week later five more photos showed up in my inbox. I held my breath as they down-
loaded.
Bliss!
Jane had worked her magic again.
The tiles looked perfectly even. The jagged edges were gone. The grouting was im-
maculate. The whole thing positively gleamed .
“You're a magician!” I yelled into the phone five minutes later. “A sorceress.”
She laughed with real pleasure.
“It's true.”
“Was it tough going?”
“You can't imagine,” she began, sighing dramatically. “I'm absolutely exhausted. And
frankly,” she added, dropping her voice an octave or two, “I don't think Freddy will ever
be the same again.”
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