Vanity Project - The Coconut Chronicles: Two Guys, One Caribbean Dream House - page 285

He sighed.
“Me too. So let's get rid of them.”
Oh my God, I said to myself, that was ridiculously easy. And in the heat of the moment
I decided to push my luck.
“How about a new shower?” I soldiered on.
“Sure, why not?” he countered, smiling almost as broadly as before.
“And a new vanity?”
There was no stopping me now.
“Fine,” he agreed, the left corner of his mouth twitching slightly.
“Wow, that's great!” I exclaimed, grinning idiotically at my run of good fortune.
Without another word he went back to his Kindle. And I, for once, rested my case.
☼ ☼ ☼
It's surprisingly easy to find bathroom renovation experts in Vieques.
In fact, there seem to be at least three on every corner.
Once we had decided to have our bathroom re-done and started mentioning the project
to acquaintances around the island, we were bombarded with glowing recommendations.
Tanya, who sold home-baked goods at the farmers' market every Tuesday and
Thursday, assured us that she had a great guy who “practically works for free.”
Knowing from bitter experience that you get what you pay for in Vieques—which, in
the case of “practically for free” would translate to “practically nothing”—we politely de-
clined.
“My cousin is the tile-master of Vieques,” our friend Carlos at the sandwich shop pro-
claimed.
Really? Tile-master?
Hmm. Okay.
I made the call.
The guy's phone manner was abrupt but oddly reassuring.
“You listen me, I give you the great price and the perfect grout.”
As improbable as it may seem that any sentence with the word grout in it could generate
excitement, I decided to give him a try.
He showed up at the house an hour late the following morning with a Chihuahua puppy
grumbling sleepily in the crook of his arm. His name was Edwin and he had a lazy left eye,
which created the impression that he was winking all the time.
Or not. It was impossible to tell.
“This is simple job,” he said, a statement that was hauntingly reminiscent of Hum-
berto's cousin's proclamation that it would be “easy” to replaster and paint the three-story
garden façade of our house and replace all the windows as well.