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By midnight the hurricane had veered north, leaving lots of fallen branches and downed
power lines in its wake but no serious damage.
I called Jane the next morning.
“We need hurricane shutters.”
“True.”
“Who do we call about getting them?”
“Me.”
“Can you hurry?”
She laughed.
“I can always try.”
In the meantime, we decided to do a little research.
We learned a lot. For starters, zillions of people around the world are foolish enough
to buy houses on or near beaches. When these otherwise perfectly rational people come to
their senses they realize they've invested their life savings in a property with the lifespan
of a fruit fly and spend the rest of their days trying to protect it.
We also learned a few things about hurricane shutters themselves. One of the highest-
end models consists of a series of U-shaped panels which slide along tracks mounted above
and below the windows and doors and interlock for maximum protection.
Jane highly recommended this style, despite their high cost. Lots of her other owners
had sprung for them, she told us, and were satisfied.
“Satisfied with what?” Michael asked when I repeated this little tidbit to him. “Have
they been through a hurricane?”
“I'm not sure,” I said.
“As far as I know Puerto Rico hasn't been hit by a hurricane in years, so how could
anyone who's bought shutters in the past two or three years possibly know if they're effect-
ive in a storm or not?”
He had me there.
“Maybe they just like the way they look,” I hazarded.
“That's a great reason to spend four thousand bucks.”
I called Jane back. She was her usual emphatic self. “They're the best. Also, they're the
easiest to install.”
I was skeptical.
“Where would you store them?”
“In your lock-up on the bottom floor.”
“But then your guys will have to schlep them up two flights of stairs
in a storm
. Aren't
there forty or fifty pieces? Doesn't sound easy to me.”
“Child's play,” she responded, swatting away my objections like a pesky fly. “And they
work!”
“How do you know?” I couldn't resist asking.
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