Crazy by Design - The Coconut Chronicles: Two Guys, One Caribbean Dream House - page 148

“You wuh entilely right about those Federal Exprayess people in Viakus. They tried to
delivah yo roogs and eventually shipped them back to me. I have them right heyah as I
speak.”
I couldn't help feeling a tiny thrill of satisfaction. Still, he sounded so dejected I decided
to throw him a bone.
“Well, at least you tried.”
“Thank you for that kind remahk, sonny, but you were right and I was wrahng. Now
what can we do to fix this mayess?”
“I have no idea. Let me do some research and I'll call you back.”
I got through to Jane and explained the situation.
“Silly twit,” she said of the rug man. “People never listen to the voice of experience.”
“Do you ?” I couldn't help asking.
“Not very often,” she answered honestly.
“So what do we do?”
“That's easy. Give them my name and cell number. The local FedEx man works for me
part-time.”
“I should have known.”
“And by the way, I warned you about seagrass rugs. They'll mildew after six months.”
“Yes, Jane, but as you're well aware, people never listen to the voice of experience.”
☼ ☼ ☼
And then there was the question of pictures.
As in, hanging a few on the walls of our Puerto Rican retreat.
Although I admire minimalism as a decorating philosophy, I've never been one for bare
walls. Sometimes when I flip through Elle Décor and encounter one ultra-hip white-on-
white room after another, I feel frostbite nipping at the edges of my soul.
With apologies to the mavens of “less is more,” I just have to say it: sometimes more is
more.
I need color. I need something to look at.
Our house is not a haiku. At the very least, it's a sonnet. Some days, it's an ode.
Unfortunately, the picture selection in the stores where we'd bought our furniture on
the big island, was either non-existent or embarrassingly bad. Not quite Elvis on velvet but
dangerously close.
Clearly, we'd have to buy our pictures elsewhere and ship them down. But where? And
how?
One day, as I pondered this problem on my lunchtime walk, it occurred to me that Ikea
might be the solution. Ikea has terrific poster frames. Even better, they're fitted out with
plexiglass instead of real glass, which would undoubtedly get broken the instant we tried to
ship the frames to Puerto Rico.