Name Game - The Coconut Chronicles: Two Guys, One Caribbean Dream House - page 96

And I can honestly say that my dread of growing older has been softened appreciably
by the very existence of our little slice of paradise. I'd much rather spend my final, arthritic
days sitting on a Vieques beach than whiling away the months in a rocking chair in D.C.
waiting for spring to crawl its way around again.
In the meantime the very thought of the house soothes me. When I'm having a bad day
at work I glance at the photos of Vieques, positioned strategically around my office, and
suddenly I feel calmer.
I know that if things ever fall apart for us in D.C., Michael and I have the very real op-
tion of simply folding our tents and repairing to our island home.
That, in itself, is worth everything we've put into it—and more.
☼ ☼ ☼
Despite the mixed feedback we received from friends, it was clearly time to begin spread-
ing the word about our island retreat. But we'd never advertised a property before and
didn't know where to begin. For inspiration, we scoured the web pages of other vacation
houses in Vieques.
The ads ranged from unimaginative to hyperactive. Some were completely over the top.
Paradise Found! one screamed, as if John Milton himself had co-signed the mortgage.
Others took a more feng shui approach, rambling on about tranquility and connected-
ness and the true light.
Yes, yes, but does it have a dishwasher? I wanted to ask.
We decided to go for the middle ground. Good clear photos, moderately lyrical text,
reasonable prices.
Michael was particularly insistent about keeping our prices low. As we conducted more
research it became clear that we faced stiff competition. Even in the somewhat limited one-
bedroom category on several of the more obvious “Rental by Owner” websites, there were
at least thirty to forty Vieques listings.
As for the narrative, we kept to the facts, though here and there we allowed ourselves
to wax a tiny bit lyrical: we mentioned the trade winds, which are truly wonderful in the
winter months, blowing a warm, fragrant breeze through the house from front to back; and
we alluded to the large number of fruit trees in the yard, urging potential guests to “pick
and eat what you please.” We added a line about the wild horses and the lovely little chirp-
ing frogs called coquis . We even mentioned the island's lusty rooster population. Anyone
who couldn't deal with crowing roosters had no business on Vieques anyhow.
As for the name of the house, we couldn't make up our minds. Even at that relatively
early date in the island's real estate boom there were lots of houses on the rental market
with names so cute they induced a gag reflex. We decided to go for something a bit more
forthright. At first I suggested Casa Miguel , because, well, I'm crazy about my partner and