The Cognition of Conflict: Ontology, Dynamics, and Ideology - Conflict and Multimodal Communication: Social Research and Machine Intelligence - page 26

Child's internal conflict : “do homework so I can go to the movies” or “watch TV
(not do homework).”

If the mother is right and is skilled at reading her child's mind, and thus the
competitor goal she activates (going to the movies) is for the child of greater value
than doing homework, then the child will resolve his internal conflict in the right
direction, and the social conflict with his mother will be automatically resolved; this
is why the mother has induced a conflict inside her child.

1.8.3 Compromises

For a compromise, we need opposite goals that are “gradable” or “composite,” that
is, achievable in part. So one agent can give up part of her goal if the other agent
gives up part of his goal (the incompatible part or degree),
Or one must compensate: X gives away her goal G1 (or part of it) and receives, as
a compensation , a reward, that is, the realization of another goal not in the original
conflict.
Some sort of exchange:

X gives something to Y, and there is reciprocation .

A kind of solution that in fact dissolves the conflict involves

• changing the beliefs or conditions that make the two goals incompatible: if both

goals can be achieved, there is no longer a conflict!

1.8.4 Irresolvable Conflicts

Not all conflicts can be resolved, not only practically (for utility or compromise) but
in principle.
Some conflicts cannot be resolved:

(a) Either because some goal of the actors is nonrenounceable and nonnegotiable ;
it cannot be reduced or replaced or compensated, like some value or principle
(e.g., “This country is 'our' country, homeland, identity territory; we cannot
renounce it!”; “God will it so; we cannot discuss or violate God's will”),
(b) Or because there are meta-goals regarding the conflict or functions of the
conflict that exist independently of the contents.

• It might be that X is looking for a conflict with Y because X feels that it is

necessary or has a need to define herself in oppositional terms or because
she must show hostility toward Y for some reason. What matters is being in
conflict with the other.