Geography Reference
In-Depth Information
fraught mimicries of colonial subjection and the resulting transforma-
tions of humanity—threatens to collapse under the weight of mimicry
and make a mockery of its own conceit to describe.
46
Like me, and my own doomed efforts at escape, Simijáné was never
quite able to fully transform himself. He did not give up his proximity
to the old spirits and he remained on the margins of mainstream Ayoreo
society until his death in December 2011 at a very old age. By the end he
was blind and deaf and his stories dissolved into disjointed fragments.
Yet the things he shared did have a powerful effect. They made it impos-
sible for me to continue as an aspiring
Abujá
. I would like to attribute
this change to the rhythmic words and moving breath of a ninety-year-
old man chanting the secret of the Devil late one night on the curb of a
bustling city street into the tape recorder of a stranger who was so very
young. But I cannot remember which way his words fell and I can no
longer say for sure.
As Mariano made clear that cold day around the fire, most Totobi-
egosode also demanded this change as the precondition for establishing
any kind of relationship with me. By the time I returned for long-term
fieldwork in 2006, it was impossible for me to ignore the fact that most
Totobiegosode people had a very different sense of the past and of sha-
manic practices than Simijáné. For them, such things were raw and close
and vital and their magic pressed against us all.
I had little choice but to renounce my quest for tradition. Confronted
with the caricature of the
Abujá
and queried repeatedly about my inten-
tions, I told everyone in those first few weeks of 2006 that I did not want
to know about the
cucha bajade
. I said that I would not ask questions
about myths or curing chants. The story got around. When the Totobi-
egosode leaders publicly granted me permission to stay among them in
early October, they said it was only because I was not a true
Abujá
.
Over time, this stance became more than a solution to the practical
problems of access. After several months in the Totobiegosode villages,
I too started to feel the force of the
Abujádie
. By the time I left, I thought
I could finally begin to understand why they were the objects of such
distrust and rage.
Ujñari
There was something obscene about the spectacle of well-dressed out-
siders in air-conditioned SUVs descending in waves on stark villages,
searching out the oldest people, beseeching them to tell prohibited sto-
