Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
I used to keep that photo on my desk during my work-year in the States to remind myself
of how much I appreciated the simple authenticity of so many of the people we knew in
Tuscany. And how much I missed it whenever we returned to the States. Upon reentry, all
of a sudden, we would be plunged back into a world where impression management was
the coin of the realm.
People seemed zany, quirky, frazzled, high-energy, down-home, intense, no-nonsense,
groovy,reserved,aloof,wacky,deeplyempathic,serious—allblendedorstraightinvarious
admixtures like ingredients for a smoothie with a shot of supplement at the local juice
shack.
You'd visit the local Best Buy to pick up a wireless mouse and the salesman would do his
best to remain nominally polite, all the while making it clear that this is his day gig and
that his real life is elsewhere. At the restaurant Sherman comes over with a broad smile
and commanding voice to inform everyone that his name is Sherman and that he will be
your server today! He is really upbeat and seems excited to have such a special opportun-
ity. Later, at the local Baskin Robbins a teenage girl with raccoon eyes hands you your
ice-cream cone, takes your money and makes change, all without eye contact or a wasted
word.
After a few days back in the States it would all start to seem normal again. Occasionally I
wouldsitandwonderwhyItalyfeltsodifferent.Itwasn'tthatpeoplewereniceallthetime.
There were jerks there too. It wasn't that everyone tried to be your buddy. If they didn't
know you, people would address you formally and maintain a polite distance. But even
with their politeness, people were definitely more real. They were more truly themselves.
It's as if they had never learned how to be anyone other than themselves. When someone
handed you something in Tuscany and looked at you, they were actually there behind their
eyes.
Tuscans speak sternly to their children when they misbehave, and they get really angry and
scream if their kids step seriously out of line. They show them who's boss, but they rarely
hit them. The boys, especially, tend to be rambunctious and rowdy during their early school
years. The primary and middle school teachers have their work cut out for them maintain-
ing order in the classroom. But, somehow, these little monsters turn into the kind, gentle
adults with a strong sense of self that we meet wherever we go. It would seem that they
never learned, never needed to learn, how to dissociate and dissimulate to survive. Their
“inner child” lurks just below the surface, always ready to come out and play when the
coast is clear and the situation permits.
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