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This one is actually quite nice, and I ask her to check on the status of my ISDN order. She
says there is no record of it, but she sees that I have subscribed to the 14.95/month satellite
service.
I remember an episode of The Twilight Zone that scared me silly as a kid. The main char-
acter was stuck in a repeating loop and couldn't find a way out of it. Each time through the
loop, he tries desperately to convince someone, anyone, about the truth of his experience,
but everyone just thinks he's crazy. Meanwhile, in this dimension, I try to enlist this nice
lady to help me escape from my nightmare. I tell her how I have tried multiple times to
cancel the satellite service and to subscribe to ISDN, but that the order keeps disappearing
so I keep starting over each time. I ask her if she can think of any way to resolve this. She
believes me and comes up with an ingenious idea. She proposes that we do it all one more
time, but this time she will make a notation in my record verifying that she herself did the
cancellation and entered the new subscription, and alerting her colleagues that if it doesn't
show up, they have a problem to resolve. I thank her profusely, I would kiss her hands if I
could, and I begin to have hope.
Two days later when I call to check on my order, sure enough there's no sign of it. But,
this time there is the crucial notation in my record to validate my story. The operator tells
me that she will add her confirmation of the problem and that they will investigate to see
what's going on. The results of their ongoing investigation will be included in the notes, so
although I will never speak to the same person again, whoever receives my call will be able
to update me on the status of the inquiry.
Tocuttothechase:theyfinallyidentified theproblem.Itseemsthattheirsoftwarewasable
to sign me up for the satellite service, but had no ability to cancel the subscription. Since
only one customer profile was permitted at any given time, the new orders for IDSN were
simply being discarded. They had assigned a technician to the task of figuring out how to
unsubscribe me. Three weeks later he had it figured out and I was a free man. A couple
weeks more of phone calls and faxes and I was actually able to get them to drop the fee for
next year's satellite subscription. But whenever I'm out somewhere and hear Frank start
singing the Telecom tune, I still break out in a cold sweat…
***
One more Telecom Italia story, and then we'll move on. One day the phone bill arrives and
it's a whopper. There are over 350 Euro in charges for “special calls.” They have all been
made to the same number. I don't have even the slightest idea who or what has been con-
tacted at this number.
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