Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Okay, this Spam thing. The band is called the Spamtones, there is Spam on the menu
(Spam nachos, Spam bagels, Spamadillas), the phone number is 279-
SPAM
. There's a let-
ter in a glass case on the wall from Hormel demanding that the Fly By Night cease and
desist using Spam in their show, and a reply from Keys requesting that Hormel cease and
desist from taking themselves so seriously.
“Why Spam?” I ask Keys. “From whence did the Spam come? Is there something in-
herently comic in Spam?”
“Did you know,” he replies gravely, “that Alaskans are the second highest consumers of
Spam in the nation?” and then he sings it from the stage. I guess that's about as serious as
it's going to get out tonight.
Two weeks ago they had a twentieth anniversary celebration, during which they gave
away three round trip tickets to Whittier, and if this weren't a family magazine I could
quote the Spamtones' lyric that features Whittier, but it is and I can't. These round trips
consisted of five gallons of gas, four bucks in quarters to feed the parking meter in Whitti-
er, and a meal at Bab's, Whittier's local restaurant. A sleazy prize from a sleazy show in a
sleazy bar. I do so love symmetry in my night clubs.
The talent is anything but sleazy. Alice Welling (Miss Anchorage 198
cough
) has a face
made of rubber and a voice with a range that can at will either shatter glass or move your
chair six inches across the floor, with you in it. Ed and Mike both sing opera away from
the Fly By Night, and Keys can play anything with keys, keyboard, accordion, harmon-
ica…well, okay, the harmonica doesn't have keys, but I'm pretty sure he could make a
glockenspiel sit up and beg if he really wanted to.
Keys is reluctant to say who writes the show (“Well, you know, we all get together to
brainstorm, a line here, a line there”) but he finally admits that “it's probably me who
pulls it all together, makes the words go with the music.” One year he ripped off The
Chipmunks for “The Wally and Jack Song” which featured Alice and Ed as the then-gov-
ernor and lieutenant governor of the state. I laughed so hard I almost went over backward
in my chair. Might be wise to reserve a booth in future, now I come to think of it.
Every year a little more neon creeps inside the Fly By Night, a few more strings of pig
lights dangle from the ceiling, the oosik gets a little longer, Alice's Humpy from Hell cos-
tume proves less resistible to more spangles. “The Official State Fossil” (
The woolly mam-
