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There would be no shortage of bidders, as the packed room was proof positive that
there is no fire marshal in Talkeetna. There was a steady stream of traffic between the bid-
ding room and the bar next door, which goes a long way toward explaining the rest of the
evening. Hillary Schaefer won her third Wilderness Woman title and was awarded a fur
hat and a gold nugget. I asked her if she was going to retire; she looked thoughtful and
said, “Well, this friend said she was going to kick my butt next year…”
Before the auction starts, a word about the bachelors here: Some of them clean up
pretty well. Hell, some of them could answer the phone for 1-800- HUNK . Plus, they live in
Talkeetna, which means they've got to have a sense of humor. What more do you want in
a guy?
It was announced that the opening bid had been raised to $20 from the previous $5,
cause for some grumbling. “Used to be you could get a perfectly good bachelor for ten
bucks,” remarked one habitual bidder. Another said anxiously, “They don't take Visa?
You can't charge a guy?”
One bachelor got things rolling, literally, by hootchy-kootchying up the aisle wearing a
fox-fur G-string and a few strategically placed tattoos. Local songwriter Steve Durr sang
“Wilderness Woman.”
She leaves man-sized tracks,
She has a double-bladed ax,
She's got a house of logs,
She's got thirty-six dogs.
The first bachelor, tall, dark and wearing a tux, no less, brought $35, the second only
$30. After that the crowd warmed up, $65, $75, $100. “Can I give mine away as a
present?” one bidder wanted to know. “Can I bid on another?” a second inquired.
One bidder doubled her bid if her bachelor would take it off, take it ALL off. The
crowd hummed “The Stripper” and he did, but he hid behind the podium so I didn't see
anything. Honest. It happened twice and I didn't see anything twice. Would I lie?
Visiting author Peter Jenkins ( A Walk Across America ), under the influence of who
knows what, bid $50 dollars on perennial bachelor Gak (no, that can't be right, that's
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