Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
round was hauling water in plastic buckets, with encouragement from bachelors (identi-
fied by badges) along the likes of “Hurry it up, woman, I want my tea!”
The next round consisted of making a sandwich, opening a beer and delivering both to
a bachelor seated on a lawn chair in front of a television perched on a snowbank. The
bachelors wore garbage bag slipcovers as a defensive measure against the, er, exuberance
of the delivery. Each contestant then piled into a snowmobile, drove to a wood pile,
loaded wood into a sled, drove a circular course, unloaded the wood and raced back over
the starting line.
The third round began with snagging a Styrofoam salmon, followed by shooting three
balloon “ptarmigans,” crawling through a culvert, being surprised by a “moose,” back
through the culvert, up a tree to ring a bell, back through the culvert, grab a rifle, shoot the
moose and run home. There were snowshoes in there somewhere, too, but by then, in spite
of my father's parka and three pairs of socks I was too cold to take notes.
Contest over, winner to be announced before the auction that evening. I went back to
the Talkeetna Alaskan Lodge (about which more later) and thawed out in front of the
lobby fireplace.
Let it be understood, here and now, that the Talkeetna Bachelor Auction is a charitable
event. It is held to raise money for the Valley Women's Resource Center in Palmer. In this
good cause, Talkeetna bachelors suffer themselves to be led up on a stage at the Talkeetna
VFW and put themselves up for bid by any single woman with enough cash in her wallet.
The winning bid buys a drink and a dance with the bachelor.
The annual event has been raising funds since 1981, when a bunch of Talkeetna bachel-
ors were sitting around the Fairview Inn and lamenting the lack of bachelorettes. “Let's
throw a party and invite some,” one guy said. “Let's call it a ball,” another guy said.
“
YEAH!
” everybody else said.
See? Altruists, every one of them.
Here I feel it appropriate to interject some Talkeetna mating calls. “
WANT
some!” and “I
have a job!” seemed popular, although “Puh-
LEEEEZE!
” was simple, direct and appeared
remarkably effective. (I suppose this could have gone below, under “Useful information,”
but oh well.)
