The Outgoing Spirit - Across the Pond: An Englishman's View of America - page 33

Americans tend to be open to experience, and among some of them this takes the form of
an eagerness to see the world. It is true that American tourists may not always be mathem-
atically certain of what building they are standing in front of, or even at times what country
they are in; but they will explore the dullest landmarks, listen attentively to the most te-
dious of guides, and labour their way up and down the most unforgiving flights of stairs.
Their energy is extraordinary, as is their willingness to listen and learn. The natural Amer-
ican tendency is to say yes to things, whereas the natural British tendency is to be cautious.
If visitors from Oregon and Omaha do not always grasp the intricacies of Roman Britain or
the English Civil War, it is not for want of trying. They are a tourist guide's delight. They
tend to be endearingly respectful of foreign customs, and touchingly afraid of giving of-
fence.
A lot of Britons would not travel abroad at all were it not for its superior climate. Since
the Almighty has chosen in his unwisdom to make abroad hot and home bloody freez-
ing, they have no option but to abandon the country from time to time for a foreign beach
(though not usually for a foreign city). This kind of British tourist is like someone who
is compelled to wade through a snake-ridden swamp in search of a precious jewel. Some
of the British who stay at home are never happier than when they are poking around in
castles, ruins, antique shops, medieval villages, pottery studios, model railways, rare book-
sellers, stately homes, tea shops, craft shops and above all, gardens. The English love gar-
dens so much that it is a wonder they have not begun to sprout. Gardens represent a dim
race memory of their pre-industrial ancestors. All Englishmen and women are peasants at
heart.
Some Americans are so keen to see the world that they stay overseas for years on end,
usually with a few tanks and helicopters to keep them company. There are also a great many
U.S. citizens who would not turn a hair if New Zealand were to sink overnight beneath
the waves, or who are reluctant to set foot in Yorkshire for fear of encountering hordes
of spear-waving cannibals. For these people, abroad is a place where there may be cobras
or Communists, where you cannot lay your hands on a decent cheeseburger, and where
nobody flosses their teeth or knows what a slam dunk is. What they forget is that the Un-
ited States has considerately exported much of its own culture abroad, so that its citizens
can feel thoroughly at home there. These days you can probably get a decent cheeseburger
on top of Mount Etna. At the end of the movie 2001 , a space traveller arrives on a distant
planet to find that the aliens have thoughtfully rearranged its appearance in order to make
him feel at home. The United States has been doing this on its own planet for many years.
The American tourist's spirit of adventure seems unquenchable. Americans seem to have
mental and physical resources quite beyond the shrunken capacities of Europeans. They
will drive for days on end, for example, whereas the British need to stop every ten miles to
picnic, throw up, exercise the dog or stroll aimlessly around. The fact that there is hardly
anywhere in Britain to picnic does nothing to quench the picnicking zeal of its inhabit-