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we saw. The 8,000-foot face was a battlefield between the force of gravity and the
reach of altitude. During the day, even at distance, we heard the crash of falling
rock. The wall itself was complex: first a 3,000-foot section of couloirs and bands
of rotten multi-coloured rock, then 1,000 feet of vertical rock rearing up at half
height, followed by another 2,000 feet of mixed ground leading to a steep entrance
to the final 2,000 feet of summit snowfields that were guarded by two huge cor-
nices directly above our proposed line. I nicknamed them 'the frog's eyes.'
'And what if the frog blinks?' asked Voytek.
It was not an easy place to sleep. Alex's usual calm became interwoven with am-
biguous emotions. Voytek tried to read the landscape as though it were a book
within himself. I worried that at any moment we would all agree it was hopelessly
dangerous and abandon the project.
The day before the climb, it nearly did unravel. Voytek had a serious moment of
doubt. Given the serious undertaking, we were not well enough known to him, or
to each other for that matter. Without trust, the risks would be unmanageable.
Alex seemed to both of us to be in a state of near panic. He sat in the tent much of
the day listening to music, rocking back and forth. He described his fear of falling
stones to me several times. I tried to laugh it off.
'Don't worry kid, we'll just have to duck more than usual.'
That did not impress him; I overheard him expressing his concerns about the
state of my mind to Voytek but by then I had purged all doubt. Doing the climb
was the only thing of any substance left. There was nothing in my past I wanted to
hold on to, nothing in the future I wished to aspire to, except the here and now; all
there was in front of me was the opportunity to engage with the mountain and
share something remarkable.
I spoke to Voytek outside the tent. We reassured each other and renewed our
commitment to the face. Then together we joined Alex inside. With no further
words, we dispelled our worries and got down to the basic practicalities. We
packed our rucksacks for the next day, making a few final adjustments - four bat-
teries exchanged for an extra ice screw, two Mars Bars for one Kendal Mint Cake.
We checked the number of tea bags, the cocoa, milk, and gas cylinders, then the
stove and, finally, passed around handfuls of reassuring pitons to pack between us.
The sound of stone fall diminished almost in proportion to the amount of sun-
light left in the day. I squeezed in an hour of complete peace sitting just above our
camp, treasuring the moment, the panoply of stars above, the brightly lit tents
with their human cargo beneath and the dark expanse of silent mountains.
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