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very fragile, vulnerable state of mind. Being a stranger in her own land will only compound
her anxiety, not relieve it.
Yet she does go back, for weeks at a time. Never long enough to engage in serious job-
hunting in Australia, but long enough to nullify her chances in Thailand. Her trips, she ex-
plains, are to “give herself time to sort things out,” be with friends and family who could
provide moral support and to research the job market back home. After all, she says, “noth-
ing is really happening in Bangkok.” By running back and forth she decreases her chances
of being contacted or interviewed, and of learning about new openings. The situation be-
comes a vicious cycle: the longer she stays away, the lower the possibility of re-establish-
ing herself in the job market. Irene is in fact sabotaging herself.
Self-sabotage is not a conscious act. Like procrastination on a grand scale, it is a way
of avoiding responsibility. Another common way that people in Irene's position sabotage
themselves is the unwillingness to accept a position in any way lower than the one pre-
viously held. In her mind she holds onto what she used to have and refuses to accept the
uncomfortable fact that she may have to take one or two steps backward in order to get on
track again. Thus she is closing off opportunities no matter where she goes.
Anyone in Irene's position must do one thing before continuing the job search: decide.
Decide where to concentrate efforts (Thailand or Australia), what to concentrate on (job
search, business or book), and what is realistically acceptable.
Thailand has been Irene's de facto home for many years. She knows the system and her
contacts are there. Her attitude of “maybe I'll go back to Australia” distracts her from com-
mitting all her energy into job searching in Thailand. It is advisable to set a realistic time
frame on the search in Thailand: for instance, six months. Within that given time she should
not allow herself to try halfheartedly, thereby giving herself a reason to leave.
If she chooses to return home after exhausting all resources, it is likewise essential to
clarify this decision in her mind: be committed to returning to Australia, and not indulge in
thoughts of rushing right back to Thailand or another country if the going gets rough back
home.
She also needs to be willing to lower her standard of acceptable jobs. Being offered a
lesser-paid position may hurt her ego now, but remaining unemployed and unproductive
would be much worse in the long run.
Focusing on one set of goals and priorities is the essential first step toward combating
stress, whether that stress comes from job-family conflict, jealousy, burnout or unemploy-
ment. It is important to deal with stress where it originates: from within. Otherwise, wheth-
er you move, or change jobs, or take medications, you will fall back into the same old pat-
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