Stress at work and home - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 53

him to later find out that he can run away from the place, yet he cannot run away from him-
self.
Gary can eliminate the social class gap by making a conscious effort to expand his circle
beyond wealthy expatriates. People of a similar economic level to his own would likely be
more accepting and more sensitive to his feelings and needs. There are many clubs and or-
ganizations in any country, such as sports, hiking, or special interest groups, which have a
variety of members from all races and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Gary needs to get a better understanding of himself. He must identify whether his jealous
feelings are situational—caused by economic class difference—or from basic dissatisfac-
tion inside himself. Learning more about himself and his own soft spots will eventually
help him to adjust to the peculiar world of expatriate society.
W HEN YOU JUST WANT TO GIVE UP AND GO
As we have seen, it is internal factors, rather than the external environment or job, which
determine how a person reacts to stress. However, many people will fall victim to stress-
related problems in a foreign environment to a degree never suffered back home.
This often leads to a peculiar form of homesickness, in which a person fantasizes that “if
only I move back home, to a familiar environment, I'll find relief.” Usually, when someone
is in such a mood, moving back home is the worst thing he or she could possibly do.
“I'm too young to retire and too old to start all over again back home. I feel stuck
here,” Gerard said.
Gerard, 47, has been with the Beijing branch of his company for four years. Both he
and his family feel quite settled there. On and off he complains about the poor quality of
life, the pollution, corruption, pushiness of people and so on. But like most people there,
he learned to live with these. Yet for the last six months Gerard has been getting extremely
irritated by every little thing. He also feels more and more overwhelmed by his work. His
performance has declined, which means he has to spend more time in the office to catch
up. This leaves him less time to relax or be with his family. The more exhausted and de-
pressed he becomes, the less work he gets done and eventually he must stay even later and
on weekends to catch up. It turns into a vicious cycle.
Gerard threw up his arms. “What do I get out of life in China? I just want to get out
of here now.”