Problems of moving - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 6

However, no matter how much a person changes outwardly, he cannot shed his roots.
Culture is embedded in a person's thinking and behavior. One simply cannot shed one's
cultural roots and transform into a different person.
Ideally, people continue the natural course of acculturation to the final stage.
INTEGRATION : Cultural barriers are bridged. Individuals finally learn to appreciate
both their own heritage and the new way of life.
Many people remain stuck in the second or third stages, Resistance or Transformation,
cutting themselves off from either their new world or the one they came from. These “ad-
justments” are unbalanced, and lead to eventual frustration and unhappiness. Many of the
difficulties and psychological complaints of foreigners in a new land, including stress and
family problems, can be directly linked to incomplete acculturation.
Children usually are more easily acculturated or assimilated than adults. The different
paces of adjustment to the new culture can put a gap between parent and child. Therefore,
parents should not overlook this area.
If expatriates and new immigrants understand and anticipate the four stages of accultur-
ation, much of the stress and turmoil of relocation can be dealt with. Particularly during the
second stage, newcomers like Benjamin need to give themselves time for adjustment and
not give up and go home.
T RANSIENT FAMILY SYNDROME
For immigrants and most expatriates, acculturation is a temporary but necessary process,
enabling them to feel at home in a new land. But for a third group of people, it is a never-
ending routine, leaving them feeling that they have no home at all.
Growing numbers of families—diplomatic, missionary, military and, increasingly, busi-
ness people—are required to move on a regular basis, usually every two or three years, to a
new, distant location. Such families are often the envy of relatives and friends. Yet under-
neath the glamour and excitement of the globe-trotting lifestyle lies a host of pitfalls and
problems. These people are often reluctant to voice their complaints, for fear that others
wouldn't understand, or of jeopardizing their own or their spouse's career.
Ever since Lucy returned from visiting her sister's family in the United States, she
finds herself moody and unhappy. Whenever her husband tries to comfort her she
lashes out at him.
“I enjoy our lifestyle and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also never knew how
much I was missing,” Lucy said.