Going home - Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad - page 105

to give up so much?” he puzzled. He seems to have lost sight of what originally caused him
to decide to leave.
Many people about to give up or lose something familiar may suddenly become afraid to
let go. Stanley even glamorizes things that used to annoy him. Crowds become stimulating
rather than annoying. Busy streets full of hawkers and pedicabs seem lively compared with
the sedate suburbs back home.
When faced with a dilemma like Stanley's, the first step is to objectively look into and
evaluate the original motivations for change.
Stanley's major complaints are the lifestyle and the pollution of crowded, unattractive
Jakarta. It is important to clarify whether the local environment is the major cause or wheth-
er there are other contributing factors. Personal or marital problems, or general inability to
manage money or to make friends, might have led to his dissatisfaction. If that is the case,
moving is not the cure for the problem.
Once the motive is clear, the next step is to come to a real decision. The family should
first prioritize their life in terms of definable issues, such as current and future finance, ca-
reer for both partners, social life for all family members, schooling for children, and so on.
Then they can evaluate whether they are willing, or can afford, to give up one thing to pur-
sue the other.
For example, it may be in an individual's interest to move to a place with a cleaner en-
vironment and better lifestyle but with lesser career prospects. However, other individuals
may put other factors, such as finances, at the top of the list and delay their plans.
Generally when expatriates go abroad, it is for better career opportunities and financial
reward. When coming to a major decision like relocation, finance can become a stumbling
block and overrule everything. Thus, it is important to review the overall situation and list
all the pros and cons before the final decision is made.
I DENTITY I NFLATION , P ART II
The decision has been made. Perhaps not by you. But it is time to go back to the home
country.
A great number of expatriates are quite reluctant to return, even if there is a job and a
house waiting for them. Almost everyone knows someone who quit their company or even
switched careers in order to stay abroad. They realize that expat life is not just about money.
Living overseas changes a person; it can be quite hard to go home again.
After nine years abroad, Phillip's company has offered to transfer him back to the
home office, with commensurate promotion within the company.